Kumail Nanjiani Quotes

I'm not as smart or talented as anyone around me. But they like me.

I was a 6-foot-tall 13-year-old who couldn't play basketball. I moved around all the time as a kid, and at each new school, the coach would say, 'He's the great white hope' - but I couldn't play ball. So my thing was jokes and characters and making fun of myself and being the 6-foot-9 Jewish guy. That was my way into show business.

I wasn't the cool kid in school, but I wasn't the lame one. I knew I wasn't cool, so I called myself lame, and that's what made me cool in front of the cool kids.

It took me a long time to blossom. Everyone else understood how to socialize and how to look. I didn't get the memo.

Which weakness shall I tell her? “I walk funny,” I say, and she’s satisfied with that. (inside joke)

Yeah, it’s me, but I like to think I looked better when we met. ‘Cause right now, I’m pretty much hogging all the ugly. (Nick)

I grew up as a step-kid, always a little outside, always trying hard to follow and fit in. But over time, I've come to feel that my tendency toward self-erasure is a deep and real part of me. I think I'd be this way no matter how I grew up.

I'm part Bridget Jones, part Larry David. I'm shy; I'm prude.

You get into comedy because you are insecure, and you communicate with the world through comedy to sort of alleviate the tension of those insecurities and to find a way to make people like you other than the way you look or how good you are at sports. I don't think that really goes away.

I don't know if I feel like an outsider or an insider; I just feel like I always did. I don't have one of those stories where I felt like no one understood me.

I was really shy growing up. I had braces, headgear, and no boobs - still don't. So, the boys weren't interested in me. The only way I could get attention was by being a goof and a dork, which meant a lot of physical comedy.

I always wanted to be where the cool was because I didn't think I was cool. But music was cool.

My entire life goal was to be accepted by everyone. I think that's what I wanted the most. I never got it.

I was so flat-chested in high school that I thought I'd better be funny if guys were going to like me.

I have come a long way from a girl with pigtails and acne showing up and going, 'Hey guys, I'm here! Where do you want me to fall over?'

Personally I don't spend much time thinking about being funny. For me it's always been just a way to get by, a way to be likable yet to remain removed. When I speak up, it's not because I have any particular answers; rather, I have a desire to puncture the pretentiousness of those who seem so certain they do.

Shame: We all have it. It's that gremlin that says 'I'm not enough.' Or, if you're feeling pretty confident,...'ooh, who do you think you are?' Shame always has a seat.

Jewish introspection and Jewish humor is a way of surviving . . . if you're not handsome and you're not athletic and you're not rich, there's still one last hope with girls, which is being funny.

I think I'm a natural appreciator of comedy. I was definitely not the girl in junior high that all the guys wanted to date. They wanted to date my friends - which was great, because I had to be funny.

I laugh at myself. I don't take myself completely seriously. I think that's another quality that people have to hold on to... you have to laugh, especially at yourself.

I can never be important to any one.' 'What is to prevent you?' 'Every thing — my situation — my foolishness and awkwardness.

A lot of people can be very scared about making themselves vulnerable and appearing uncool. I don't really give a damn; as long as it's funny, I'll do it [make fun of myself].

The one who tried too hard, the outsider, the oddball. Yeah, that was me.

I had horrible acne when I was a kid. I felt like a complete and utter ne'er do well and someone who didn't fit in and wasn't handsome. So, I understand implicitly, and with a great amount of empathy, a man or human being that feels that way.

I'm a perfectly equipped failure.