Richard Lewis Quotes

I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.

You take so much on as a therapist: you just sit there and listen to people talk with you, and you're trying to help people, and it can be draining.

My mom was funny and nutty. I suppose she had to be to survive raising 10 kids. To cope and keep a cap on things, she kept us buoyant and harmonious. She wouldn't let us express anger, which later on landed me in therapy but also made it easier for me to play laid-back, measured roles.

Thieves don't usually make good therapists.

I asked him "Who said you could fool around with my wife" he said everybody.

It is a very dangerous thing to know one’s friends.

A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!"

I was in analysis. I was suicidal. As a matter of fact, I would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss.

I never cheated, for the record, back when I was with you. But you believed in everything but me girl, I don't get you

Insecurity twists meanings and poisons trust. In a closely beleaguered city every sentry is a potential traitor.

It's weird, I actually like doing interviews now. Ever since I gave up therapy, it's my only time with a captive audience.

I'm the one who got hit by that car, not you,' I tell him. 'Don't act like you're the victim here. You made choices I didn't ask you to make. I'm not sure anyone asked you to make them.' I'm screaming the words, not caring that the entire world can probably hear me. 'You think I like limping everywhere I go? I don't. I'm the victim! Be honest with me! You didn't care about me enough to trust me. I gave you my heart, but it wasn't enough.

What? You don't trust me?

When they say laughter is healing, it absolutely is the truth.

You don't ever ask a barber whether you need a haircut.

The neurotic would like to trust his analyst - if only because he's paying him so much money. But he can't - because if the analyst really cared, he'd be doing it for nothing.

Anxiety in human life is what squeaking and grinding are in machinery that is not oiled. In life, trust is the oil.

I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, "Which way do I go?" But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...

The cut in Nick's arm was starting to throb dully with the pressure he was putting on it. He kept looking at Alan. 'How many times have you lied to me?' he asked in a soft voice. Alan replied, equally softly, 'I've lost count.

You see, you’re doing it again. Telling me nothing. (Tory) You know, trust is always a good idea…for someone else. Every time I’ve ever made the mistake of trusting someone…it was a mistake that I regretted and paid for dearly. I’m really happy that no one has ever hurt you badly. I haven’t been so lucky, okay? (Acheron)

Our attention span is shot. We've all got Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD or OCD or one of these disorders with three letters because we don't have the time or patience to pronounce the entire disorder. That should be a disorder right there, TBD - Too Busy Disorder.

Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn his eyebrows off.

Sometimes I get really lonely. Especially when I'm throwing a Frisbee.

Once when I was lost I asked a policeman to help me find my parents. I said to him, 'Do you think we'll ever find them?' He answered, 'I don't know, kid. There are so many places they can hide.

My manager said, "Don't use liquor as a crutch!" I can't use liquor as a crutch, because a crutch helps me walk.