Steven Wright Quotes

I trust no one, not even myself.

Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

Once doubt begins it spreads rapidly.

I always have doubts. I am weary of people.

Sometimes I'll be confident and go into a shop and say, "Hello, yeah, all right," and then the next day, if someone looks at me or talks to me, I just don't know what to do. If you're walking down the street with a baseball cap, you might be fine. But if you're in a pub and you see someone look at you, you think the worst thing in the world now is if they come over. It's a really weird feeling.

I used to go away for weeks in a state of confusion.

I never trusted anybody at all. I don't know why it was so hard, I just didn't.

A man who trusts nobody is apt to be the kind of man nobody trusts.

I believed or thought I was disoriented and the victim of a bizarre dream and I believe I paced in and out of the room and possibly into one of the other rooms. I may have re-examined her, finally believing that this was true.

Does anybody know what I'm doing up here?

I feel like everybody's always out to get me, and that's a weird feeling.

And when you're on your own there is that terrifying possibility that you may be the only person on the planet who thinks it's funny - and you have no way of finding out.

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

I'm a misplaced American, but don't know where I was misplaced.

I don't feel like I make sense in the world. I don't feel like I look right. I don't feel like I act right or do right. It's very frustrating to me that I just walk around with this all the time.

Most of the time, I'm a little bewildered or sort of feel out of place.

I don't like people because I don't trust them.

No matter where I go, I always feel unwanted eyes following me. It's a dirty world out there.

I don't trust anybody.

My apprehension comes in crowds, I dread the rustling of the grass, The very shadows of the clouds, Have power to shake me as they pass, I question things and do not find, one that will answer to my mind, And all the world appears unkind.

I was home alone watching George Bush speak on television. So it was just really the two of us. And as I listened to him, I realized, that one of us... was nuts! And for the first time ever, I went, 'Wow, it's not me!'

It had that kind of open-ended fear to it - like that feeling you get when you're driving and you see a cop. And you're not speeding. You don't have drugs. But you're just thinking, I hope he doesn't notice I'm driving.

I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building.

I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.

The more I think of you, the less I think of you.