Demetri Martin Quotes

Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on. I'm going to have all my clothes made out of blankets.

I stay in my pajamas until I have to leave for work.

I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now i don't have to hold things when I sleep.

It's just an ice bucket with a bottle in it. The two flute glasses are little tray. I got to shut the curtains. I'm in my boxer shorts and shirt. I'm going to take a bath and go to bed. But I want to shut the blinds so it's really dark in the room.

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

I like shopping from the comfort of my bed whilst my husband is asleep beside me.

They're like sleeping in a soft bed. Easy to get into and hard to get out of.

I have candy around my bed. I just kinda like reach over and eat it and then go back to sleep, no problem.

When I wake up in the morning, the one thing I think about is being comfortable and wearing enough clothes.

Somebody bought me a Snuggie as a joke gift. Haha, the joke's on you, I enjoy it. I toss and turn at night, finally a blanket that's like, 'I'm going to keep you warm.' It's like having a small child with polio keep you in a full nelson - the perfect pressure.

Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log.

We got everythin' we need here. We got Baileys, creamy, and, um... everythin' good. I'll get ya another Baileys

No man is greater than his respect for sleep.

Twas the night before Thanksgiving. All the food's in the oven. And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'.

It became a habit of mine never to leave the house without a pencil in my pocket.

I would start a revolution, but I just bought a hammock.

I feel more confident in being able to be funny if I'm comfortable with the people I'm around. When you're friends with them, it just makes it all the better. Plus, shooting a movie, you're sitting on your ass for hours at a time, so if you have somebody there to mess around with and have fun, then it's great.

My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.

I never joined the army because at ease was never that easy to me. Seemed rather uptight still. I don't relax by parting my legs slightly and putting my hands behind my back. That does not equal ease. At ease was not being in the military. I am at ease, bro, because I am not in the military.

I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.

But there was a kitten on my pillow, and it was purring in my face and vibrating gently with every purr, and, very soon, I slept.

I love my home, just playing games and just sleeping. No matter where you go, nothing is better than sleeping.

Every single morning since I've been 27 years old, I've got up and someone's handed me a card like the one I have in my pocket with the schedule on it, of all the things I'm gonna do. I don't know what to do if I didn't have that card.

Rest, rest, rest, rest, rest. Nutrition is obviously very important, but rest is equally important. At rest is when your body is trying to recover.

Between the Pope and air conditioning, I'd choose air conditioning.