Robert Mankoff Quotes

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.

Laughter is an important part of a good relationship. It's an immense achievement when you can move from your thinking that your partner is merely an idiot to thinking that they are that wonderfully complex thing called a loveable idiot. And often that means having a little bit of a sense of humour about their flaws.

I love being married. It's great. But I hate arguing. I hate fighting. You know what I do now? When we get in an argument, I just take her side against me. It's just easier; it goes quicker. She's like, "What's wrong with you?" And I'm like, "I know! Damn it! Argh!"

I don't think a married couple can go through life without laughs together any more than they can without tears.

My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.

Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.

The three ingredients of a successful union between two ... humor, commitment & undying love.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake thinking about something you said; after marriage , he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.

I tell ya, I don't get no respect ... Last week, my wife told me that she was going to cut me down to twice a month. But I thought about it, and I figured that it wasn't too bad. I know a couple of guys that she cut out completely.

You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT!

[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

Communication is the root of marital success from which a strong union can grow, and noncommunicatio n is the rock on which the ship will bash out her keel.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

Show me a wife who doesn't offer advice and I'll show you one who doesn't care very much.

Probably the most important single element that I found in my own marriage was a sense of humor. My wife had a delicious sense of humor, and I think I have an adequate one.

After making love I said to my girl, "Was it good for you too?" And she said, "I don't think this was good for anybody."

You seem to be absolutely unaware of the phenomenon of marriage - which is destructive to both man and woman. Love is creative, marriage is destructive. But love is not dependable: this moment it may be there and the next moment gone. And man wants permanent things; he is obsessed with permanent things. He wants security, safety, he wants to cling. Hence love is not reliable, so he created marriage.

It is impossible for a man to love his wife whole heartedly without loving all women somewhat. I suppose that the converse must be true of women.

I am not against marriage - without marriage, ninety-nine percent jokes will disappear from the world. How I can be against marriage? I am all for it.

Let me get one thing straight; I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice; no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.

My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.

Do not believe that living together before marriage guarantees the future. By burning certain stages, you risk burning love itself. Time needs to be respected gradually, just like the expressions of love.

It's my wife Ruth's birthday soon. I said to her: "What would you like for your birthday?" She said: "I want a divorce." I said: "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?