Jack Vance Quotes

And it occurs to me that if I were aboard a rowboat floating in the middle of all the beer I've drunk in a lifetime, I'd never be able to see the shore.

Lo! the poor toper whose untutored sense, Sees bliss in ale, and can with wine dispense; Whose head proud fancy never taught to steer, Beyond the muddy ecstasies of beer.

When people ask me if Dean Martin drank, let me put it this way. If Dracula bit Dean in the neck, he'd get a Bloody Mary.

Because of the high altitude, you get drunk really fast. So everyone's drunk all the time.

A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.

He is a drunkard who takes more than three glasses though he be not drunk.

No nation is drunken where wine is cheap; and none sober where the dearness of wine substitutes ardent spirits as the common beverage. It is, in truth, the only antidote to the bane of whiskey.

Evidence...proves that prohibition only drives drunkenness behind doors and into dark places, and does not cure it or even diminish it.

… there are two things that will be believed of any man whatsoever, and one of them is that he has taken to drink.

The only thing that makes me uncomfortable is when people that do drink, don't drink around me.

I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.

I was five years old the first time I got drunk.

God,” I moaned. “Do they use that stuff as rocket fuel?” “No one made you keep drinking it.” “Hey, don’t get preachy. Besides, I had to be polite.” “Sure,” she said.

Most Americans are born drunk, and really require a little wine or beer to sober them.

As I grew older I became a drunk. Why? Because I like ecstasy of the mind.

Promise me one thing: don't take me home until I'm drunk - very drunk indeed.

When I am drunk I am at my best. It is the national knack of the French.

I always drank, from when it was legal for me to drink. And there was never a time for me when the goal wasn't to get as hammered as I could possibly afford to. I never understood social drinking, that's always seemed to me like kissing your sister.

I'll be drunk again to feel a little love.

Short-term amnesia is not the worst affliction if you have an Irish flair for the sauce.

Sometimes when you get hammered till the small hours you feel pretty good in the morning, but really it's just because you're still a bit drunk. That old hangover is just toying with you, working out when to bite.

[Dean Martin] is an absolute, unqualified drunk. And if we ever develop an Olympic drinking team, he's gonna be the coach... Dean Martin has been stoned more often than the United States embassies.

My wife has told me since that I was hungover every mornng until about two in the afternoon, and from five until midnight I was drunk out of my mind. So she says there was this period of about three hours when she could talk to me like a rational human being.

One more drink and I'd have been under the host.

I had a friend who was a heavy drinker. If somebody asked him if he'd been drunk the night before, he would always answer offhandedly, 'Oh, I imagine.' I've always liked that answer. It acknowledges life as a dream.