Orson Scott Card Quotes

A man will part with anything so long as he's drunk, and you're drunk with him.

He raised his brows. "You're drunk." "Am not!" He gave me a bland look. "A drunk's famous last words before they fall flat on their face.

A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.

Wine is wont to show the mind of man.

Promise me one thing: don't take me home until I'm drunk - very drunk indeed.

Maybe she was drunk - the woman never could drink. One little sniff of tequila and she was off into some blonde la-la land.

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.

I simply don't know how to act as if I am drunk.

I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.

No. I think they're the idiot people and I'm the normal person. But I don't really go to parties where...I don't really have drunk friends. My friends are kind of adult; they have a drink. But they hold their liquor. I think it's incredibly embarrassing when people are drunk. It just looks so ridiculous. I find it very degrading. I think, oh, you're really degrading yourself right now, to be this pissed out in public.

I wanna get drunk 'til I'm off my mind. One bourbon, one scotch, and one beer.

Most Americans are born drunk, and really require a little wine or beer to sober them.

If drunk were cookies, I'd be Famous Amos

Getting drunk . . . you're in complete control up to a point. It's your choice, every time you take a sip. You have a lot of small choices. It's like . . . I guess it's the difference between suicide and slow capitulation . . .

"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" "Ask a glass of water."

One should always be drunk. That's all that matters...But with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk.

One night in Tokyo we watched two Japanese businessmen saying good-night to each other after what had clearly been a long night of drinking, a major participant sport in Japan. These men were totally snockered, having reached the stage of inebriation wherein every air molecule that struck caused them to wobble slightly, but they still managed to behave more formally than Americans do at funerals.

I was somewhat drunk with what I had done. And I am always one to prefer being sober.

To get a traveling salesman drunk is the height of impossibility.

The important thing is to be drunk.

Sometimes when you get hammered till the small hours you feel pretty good in the morning, but really it's just because you're still a bit drunk. That old hangover is just toying with you, working out when to bite.

I'm pretty drunk and bored with yelling at the stone walls that are your minds.

Don't think I'm talking nonsense because I'm drunk. I'm not a bit drunk. Brandy's all very well, but I need two bottles to make me drunk.

I am drunk, seest thou? When I am not drunk I do not talk. You have never heard me talk much. But an intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend his time with fools.