Richelle Mead Quotes

A lot of truth is said in jest.

My best jokes are so cheap. All I do is say things sarcastically.

I love to laugh, it's my main thing. I love to abuse the English language.

I eat so much mayonnaise they were going to send me to the Mayo Clinic.

A lot of my rhymes are just to get chuckles out of people. Anybody with half a brain is going to be able to tell when I'm joking and when I'm serious.

I still love a well-crafted joke. Twitter's been great for that.

Time flies like an arrow - but fruit flies like a banana.

I was always good at being observationally funny - like, contributing something funny to the conversation.

People are always saying, 'You use irony,' and it's like, actually, we don't use irony: we use wit and playfulness and irreverence.

Do you know what they say about big hands? Big gloves!

When you're around people who are trying to be funny all day and trying to one-up each other, that's just naturally - if you want to do it - it's going to make you better.

Rob and I both have this strange sense of comedy which always involves us being the butt of our own jokes.

You can't spell bass without ass

Why did the warrior cross the road? [Koldo] That’s easy. To kill the guy on the other side. [Nicola] A bud of amusement had her smiling. Knock, knock. [Koldo] Who’s there? [Nicola] Donut. Donut who? Donut run from me, puny girl.

Obstreperous, ‘huh,” said Tad. “I see you’ve been using that Big Word of the Day calendar I got you last Christmas.” “That is irrefragable,” I told him solemnly.

I had a friend who had two degrees of being made up: when invited I would say 'Can I make up?' and he would say 'Oh yes - tinted?', or he would say, 'Oh yes - clotted?'

Bing Crosby and I weren't the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other. One of our stock lines used to be "There's nothing I wouldn't do for Bing, and there's nothing he wouldn't do for me." And that's the way we go through life - doing nothing for each other!

Banter is often a proof of want of intelligence.

In the pun, two strings of thought are tangled into one acoustic knot.

There's a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

I bought my wife a little Italian car. A Mafia. It has a hood under the hood.

So I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, "Are you having me on?" I said, "Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything."

I have a beard. Just not on my face.

Excuse me?" Jess asked in disbelief. "This is Frozen Zarek I'm talking to, right? Not some weird pod person?" He shook his head at Jess's joking. "It's me, dickless." "Hey, now, that's way too personal. I don't need to know that much about you.

So it’s still standing?” he managed to get out between his snickers. “I would’ve thought you two had knocked it to rubble by now. What were you doing last night? Discussing the national debt?” Emmett howled with laughter.