Tommy Cooper Quotes

I was sick. I had a polyp on my throat. It would have been foolish for me to go out on the road with the problem I had.

Boy, you gotta be real sick to get this much attention.

I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time.

My dear doctor, I am surprised to hear you say that I am coughing very badly, as I have been practising all night.

The rumor that the state of my health will necessitate my resignation is entirely unfounded.

The state of my poor boy's health prevents me from leaving home for a night.

I returned to upstate NY where I just laid in bed for days with a fever that just wouldn't go away. After more of this, I grew increasingly sure that this was not simply the flu!

I don't normally look like a twig and I do eat like a pig but the weight has just dropped off me.

I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.

I refer to the fact, acknowledged now by all professionals in the field, that alcoholism as such is not a legal problem—it is a health problem.

I've never had a personal experience with cancer.

I never get sick normally, but having strep throat three times in four months - that's pretty crazy.

I have had a problem with food intolerance since I was eight.

There is no health; physicians say that we, at best, enjoy but neutrality.

I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.

My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'

My cholera's acting up again.

Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!

I went to the doctor, and they found something in my bladder. And whenever they find something, it's never anything good like, "We found something in your bladder AND IT'S SEASON TICKETS TO THE YANKEES!!"

I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.

If you think that you have caught a cold, call in a good doctor. Call in three good doctors and play bridge.

Personally, I think Jim Henson said it best when he said "Anybody got an aspirin? I think I've got a cold."

A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"

I told you I was sick.

Don't sit around playing Mr. Tough Guy. Don't say 'It's going to go away'... It's just important - just go get checked out. It's not like you're going to lose your manhood.