Mark Russell Quotes

Harry," Bob drawled, his eye lights flickering smugly, "what you know about women, I could juggle.

I think that if you can roast a chicken, you can get whatever you want out of a woman.

Men are pigs. I really have every sympathy for women that they actually have to choose one of these arrogant, stupid morons to settle down with and marry.

Men are like parking spots: sometimes I drive my car into them

I definitely think the idea of friend zone is just men going, 'This woman won't have sex with me.'

Women! Can't live with 'em, can't live with 'em!

You're going to women? Don't forget your whip!

Women! Can't live with 'em, no resale value.

An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn't know any women.

I have never had any great esteem for the generality of the fair sex, and my only consolation for being of that gender has been the assurance it gave me of never being married to any one among them.

Ahh, women! I never met one yet that was half as reliable as a horse!

[At a young age] I had learned enough about women to know not to pressure them when they're thinking something out; they'll tell you when they're ready.

Making love to a woman is like buying real estate: location, location, location.

If you want a girl to like you, you have to listen like a woman and love like a man.

Dating is not only a wonderful time of life, but also a context for enormous spiritual and personal growth. You learn so much about yourself, others, God, love, spirituality, and life through dating. Done well, it can be fulfilling in and of itself. Done well, it can be one of the most fun and rewarding aspects of your life. Done well, it can lead to a good marriage.

Zerbrowski said, "I only ever understood one woman, and she was kind enough to marry me so I didn't have to decipher anyone else.

Get married before the sex gets boring or you'll never get married.

It's not my fault all women like motorcycles, Murph. They're basically huge vibrators. With wheels.

Sometimes I forget how much I like riding the bike." Most chicks do," I said. "Roar of the engine and so on." Murphy's blue eyes glittered with annoyance and anticipation. "Pig. You really enjoy dropping all women together in the same demographic, don't you?" It's not my fault all women like motorcycles, Murph. They're basically huge vibrators. With wheels.

[Marriage] is the merciless revealer, the great white searchlight turned on the darkest places of human nature.

Women are like roads. The more curves they have, the more dangerous they are.

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife.

There's no place on earth with more dumb girls per square foot than a college in California.

It is important to remember when making jokes about women, that they are not a minority. They weren't captured on another continent and brought here in leg-irons (funny shoes, yes, but not leg-irons) and Hitler didn't blame them for Germany's loss in WWI. Therefore, you can make any kind of fun of them you want.

Like a compass needle that points north, a man's accusing finger always finds a woman. Always.