Marketing Gimmick Quotes

At Marshall Field in Chicago, I had them take a big bed into the menswear department, one with black sheets. I'd get in bed wearing a nightcap, and my fans would get in bed with me, one at a time, and I'd sign their memorabilia. And then I'd give them a free pint of Ben & Jerry's.

Philosophy is talk on a cereal box.

I hate album covers where people are just smiling so big. It's like a neon sign that says PLEASE COME BUY ME.

There are a lot of bands using self-abuse as a marketing gimmick.

I'm building a glass pyramid over the Egyptian escalator where my body will be mummified, so my customers can come and see me forever.

It's like, are you kidding me? I'd sell way more if I just put a picture of my face. That's the fact. I'd sell more copies of me just looking cute. That's what sells more. That's what sells at Wal-Mart. Not someone in a bathtub looking like they're about to kill someone. Topless.

There sure are a lot of these 'instant' products on the market. Instant coffee, instant tea, instant pudding, instant cereal... instant dislike.

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.

I was reading a magazine when I was a little kid, probably about twelve years old, and an ad said that if you sell so many jars of Noxzema skin cream, we'll sell you a ukulele. So I went out and banged on doors in the snow in Quincy, Massachusetts, where I was raised, and I sold the skin cream.

The Kentucky Fried Chicken corporation made a bobble head of me and sent it to my management. No card, nothing.

Have you ever read the back of the Newman's Diavolo pasta sauce? Dad on the front is dressed like the devil with a little beard and horns. He says that he sells his soul to the devil for the recipe. It was banned in the South. They thought it was an abomination.

This one commercial said, "Forget everything you know about slipcovers." So I did, and it was a load off of my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell slipcovers, but I didn't know what they were!

Whenever someone says the word community, I want to reach for an oxygen mask.

Buy Space Ghost cereal, but don't eat the prizes.

For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you. Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark and George Meson.

Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.

I don't know about you, but when they first introduced bottled water, I thought it was so funny, I was like "Bottled water! Haha, they're selling bottled water! ... I guess I'll try it. Ah, this is good, this is more watery than water. Yeah, this has got a water kick to it."

My first paid job was delivering newspapers. The first paid acting job I got was dressing up as Edam cheese and handing out leaflets on London's Oxford Street. I got pushed over by these little herberts and given a good shoe-in.

Well my chocolate is so good I could sell it in an obnoxious prism shape.

It would be real nice to have some kind of bell or whistle attached to this film - it would give it a longer life. People seem to need that validation to go to a film these days.

February days are a marketing gimmick; love happens every day.

Sustainability has become an ornament.

To be truthful, not much 'engineering' goes into the ShamWow!

I don't make films that are easy to market, unfortunately. I think that 'Pi' was the easiest one, because we had that symbol to stick up everywhere, so that was a good gimmick, and created a good mystery, and we didn't have to do huge scale.

Postal inspectors have been given advanced warning that Publishers Clearinghouse is sending packets of laundry detergent that could be mistaken for anthrax. Oh, good timing. What genius came up with this promotion? What's next - a ticking alarm clock? Let's put that in a box.