Doctor's Visit Quotes

The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"

My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'

A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"

The worst moment from all of this was driving from that doctor's office, to tell my wife that I was HIV positive.

I went to the doctor. I said to him "I'm frightened of lapels." He said, "You've got cholera."

When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces...I just know they're about to jab me with something.

Doctor, feel my purse.

Everybody knows that everybody dies. But not every day. Not today. Some days are special. Some days are so, so blessed. Some days, nobody dies at all. Now and then, every once in a very long while, every day in a million days, when the wind stands fair and the Doctor comes to call, everybody lives.

I finally had my prostate checked. And I was super-thankful that I taught my asshole to whistle before the doctor stuck his finger in there. The look on his face was priceless.

I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.

The three most celebrated doctors on the island have been to see me. One sniffed at what I spat, the second tapped where I spat from, and the third sounded me and listened as I spat. The first said I was dead, the second that I was dying and the third that I'm going to die.

My mother learned that she was carrying me at about the same time the Second World War was declared; with the family talent for magic realism, she once told me she had been to the doctor's on the very day.

He was a nice guy, middle-aged, a little tired, like most doctors usually seemed to be, but he just nodded and said, "Let me take a look at him. Shane?" "I'm not dropping my pants," Shane said. "I just thought I'd say that up front.

I got a postcard from my gynecologist. It said, Did you know it's time for your annual check-up? No, but now my mailman does.

I suppose one has a greater sense of intellectual degradation after an interview with a doctor than from any human experience.

I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, 'Take off your clothes'?

I don't really have a fear of doctors, in the sense that they're going to do something bad to me. I don't have a fear of them eating me, or a fear of needles, or anything like that. I have a fear that I'm feeling completely fine, everything's good, and then when I go there, he's going to tell me something horrible.