Matt Groening Quotes

I thought I was funny as a kid. I used to play tricks on my brothers - I'd tie a two-shilling piece to a bit of cotton, then pull it away as they went to grab it.

The first thing we did was change all the clocks so that her siblings thought it was bedtime, then put them to bed ignoring their plaintive protests that they were not tired. They wept themselves to sleep soon enough.

Ulysses, obviously. It was an elaborate prank, and our supposed intellectual elite continue to fall for it.

Nobody pulls a prank like George Clooney.

I am proud to say that I plastic-wrapped Bruno Ricci's toilet in his trailer.

When I was about ten years old, I gave my teacher an April Fool's sandwich, which had a dead goldfish in it.

When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.

There were a lot of times I'd hide in my locker and jump out and surprise people. Whenever friends would come by, I'd open the locker and hit' em.

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

I would spend a lot of time setting up an accident scene where it appeared that I had seriously hurt myself - hedge-cutter, ketchup, that sort of thing. When my sister happened upon the scene of horror, I would lift my head and pathetically plead for her to 'get Mum'.

I prank my manager. I tell him I've lost my passport, or I've lost my case, or I hide his case. He is so gullible, he is the most gullible person ever.

Me and fellow scouser Toni Duggan are a double act. We are always pre-planning some sort of practical joke.

I would say the best trick I've pulled was putting salt instead of sugar in Phil Neville's tea.

One time, I pranked my sister: I put red solo cups in her room on her floor and filled them with water. Then I put string all over so you couldn't get anywhere.

I like to stand near ATM machines, and when somebody types in their pin number, I go, 'Got it!' And then I run away.

Wouldn't it be a helluva joke if all this were really burnt cork and you people were being tolerant for nuthin'?

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”

Lying contains the same hostile elements as a practical joke in that the 'victim' ends up looking foolish in his own eyes and laughable in everyone else's.

Invite them all in. Nip out the back door. Phone the police and tell them your house is being burgled.

You want to look younger... rent smaller children.

When something looks too good to be true, it usually is.

Jesus. Low-Key Lyesmith," said Shadow. and then he heard what he was saying and he understood. "Loki," he said. "Loki Lie-smith." "You're slow," said Loki, "but you get there in the end." And his lips twisted into a scarred smile and the embers danced in the shadows of his eyes.

Be wary when a naked person offers you his shirt

whoopdie-friggin-doo, fooled you!