Jeff Foxworthy Quotes

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape.

You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.

You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.

If you have more fish on your wall than pictures, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.

You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.

You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.

You might be a redneck if your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.

You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.

You might be a redneck if you consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve.

You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.

You might be a redneck if your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.

If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.

You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.