Where I live in Oklahoma, it's all ranchers. My friends are all cowboys and pretty rough guys. If I had a hot tub back there, I may as well have Richard Simmons come over and live with me.
You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
Sorry for the tune up between time, but what the hell, cowboys are the only ones who stay in tune, anyway.
You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape.
You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.
You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.
You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.
You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.
You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
You might be a redneck if you work with a shirt off... and so does your husband.
City wits, country humorists.
You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right
You might be a redneck if...you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.
You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.
You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
You might be a redneck if your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
You might be a redneck if you watch cartoons long after your kids get bored.
If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck
You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.
