Rachel Caine Quotes

I've actually tried to roast somebody that I don't like, and it doesn't go well. Either they're a bad sport or I'm not as funny as I could be.

At this point, we've ripped on everyone.

Even when I was in high school and the Navy, I was the guy who could rip somebody, and they'd laugh at it.

I knew how to come up with jokes at someone's expense really fast.

[Carter just asked when I became a ram whisperer. Do shut up, Carter]

I'm not a big fan of comedy roasts because most of the time I find them to be really mean, but once in a while, you'll hear something perfectly worded and well-crafted.

A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'

The joy of the roasts is to watch people get hurt and offended, and then have to laugh to pretend they're a good sport.

Raillery is a mode of speaking in favor of one's wit at the expense of one's better nature.

You little fruitcake, you little fruitcake, I said you are a fruitcake.

Congratulations, you have a sense of humor. And to those who didn't: Go stick your head in the mud.

A roast is like a get-together where people come down and talk about you and dog you out, the way you came up, the knucklehead things that you did, stuff like that.

Oh, I've never been asked a silly question in my entire life.

Half-brights consider it comedy gold to congratulate anyone they dislike for 'winning the Kentucky Derby!' The only thing more bracingly original to not-smart people is: 'Stay classy!'

That's the whole thing: You only roast the ones you love. That's why I never make fun of the French.

I know I make a lot of jokes about Mike Jones, but I don't even have no hatred for him.

You often take the mick out of the people you like best.

Your aim's as bad as your cooking sweetheart... and that's saying something!

Can the sarcasm,' he said. 'Please, I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned.

We lost the crickets," she said. "Even you can't make that sound tough." ..."I am Butler," he said with a straight-face. "Everything I say sounds tough. Now, get out of the lake, fairy.

Oh, he is cute!” Shane said in a fake girly voice. “Gee, maybe we can ask him out!” “Shut up, you weasel. Claire, hit him!

Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a 'possum stuck in your collar?

Hello, Harry" said George, beaming at him. "We thought we heard your dulcet tones." "You don't want to bottle up your anger like that, Harry, let it all out," said Fred, also beaming. "There might be a couple of people fifty miles away who didn't hear you.

Goodness gracious me,” exclaimed Alexia, “what are you wearing? It looks like the unfortunate progeny of an illicit union between a pair of binoculars and some opera glasses. What on earth are they called, binocticals, spectaculars?” The earl snorted his amusement and then tried to pretend he hadn't. “How about glassicals?” he suggested, apparently unable to resist a contribution.

Sirius looked slightly disconcerted for a moment, then said, "I'll look for him later, I expect I'll find him upstairs crying his eyes out over my mother's old bloomers or something... Of course, he might have crawled into the airing cupboard and died... But I mustn't get my hopes up.