Chester Brown Quotes

It's a big issue for me - feeling like I should be helping every person who asks for something or who has a problem.

There's a fine line between helping others and being a people pleaser, and mistaking one for the other can be hugely detrimental. When we put others' needs before our own, we deplete our energy, which can lead to depression, physical illness, and overwhelm.

I've always gotten myself overly involved in supporting other women who've not always been as supportive in return.

It's very hard to balance being there for somebody else and taking care of yourself.

I look at people in certain circumstances, and I fall into caretaker mode real quick, real easy. I like to shoulder people up and carry them along, and then I end up creating some kind of dependency. I enable. It's really, really hard for me.

I spend a lot of time wondering how to best support the people that I love, because I think sometimes that means getting out of the way. When should I leave them alone to have their own life?

I have learnt my boundaries and what I need to do to preserve my energy and not give out too much of myself every night.

It's great that you can listen and be a shoulder to someone, but what about when someone doesn't need a shoulder? What if they need the arms or something like that? You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You just can't. You have to do things.

You have to learn how to care about people without taking on all of their problems.

Don’t sacrifice yourself too much, because if you sacrifice too much there’s nothing else you can give and nobody will care for you.

Caring works. Caretaking doesn't. We can learn to walk the line between the two.

When we begin to set boundaries with people we love, a really hard thing happens: they hurt. They may feel a hole where you used to plug up their aloneness, their disorganization, or their financial irresponsibility. Whatever it is, they will feel a loss. If you love them, this will be difficult for you to watch. But, when you are dealing with someone who is hurting, remember that your boundaries are both necessary for you and helpful for them. If you have been enabling them to be irresponsible, your limit setting may nudge them toward responsibility.

When you say 'yes' to others, make sure you are not saying 'no' to yourself.

The idea of being strong for someone else having never entered their heads, I find myself in the position of having to console them. Since I'm the person going in to be slaughtered, this is somewhat annoying.

When you become detached mentally from yourself and concentrate on helping other people with their difficulties, you will be able to cope with your own more effectively. Somehow, the act of self - giving is a personal power - releasing factor.

You best teach others about healthy boundaries by enforcing yours.

Forgiveness must be immediate, whether or not a person asks for it. Trust must be rebuilt over time. Trust requires a track record. If someone hurts you repeatedly, you are commanded by God to forgive them instantly, but you are not expected to trust them immediately, and you are not expected to continue allowing them to hurt you.

Friends that I value most are people who would essentially use physical violence against me at a time when I seem to be teetering on the edge.

What you do not use yourself, do not give to others. For example, advice.

It is so important as a caregiver not to become so enmeshed in the role that you lose yourself. It's neither good for you nor your loved one.

This is what I wanted most to avoid: for my rises and falls to become Tobias's rises and falls. That's why I can't let him step in to defend me now.

Sometimes it's a little overwhelming to take on other people's stories, that's just the kind of person I am, maybe I'm empathetic to a fault, I internalize a lot, so it can be a bit hard sometimes, but I understand that that's what they need, and if I can do it, then I'll do it, but if I can't, then I'll try to take a knee.

On connecting: Where does one person end and another person begin?

I respect my boundaries, and I insist that others respect them, too.

In my little world, I'm very protected 'cause I'm treated like the idiot I am by my buddies. But, a little bit outside that world, people sometimes expect heavy things from me. For a little time, I tried to appease and not disappoint people but in the end you're just going to kill yourself and fail if you're trying to give more than you are.