SANDRA BERNHARD

Gayness is a non-issue.

I'm trying to appeal to the disenfranchised everybody, not just specifically gay.

Unfortunately, most college kids these days aren't coming from any place-they seem to ask the same kind of questions over and over again.

When you're constantly looking for things from other people, you're not looking within yourself.

I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.

I'm very much a humanist. I'm very much pro-choice. I'm very much politically correct.

There are so few women in general who aren't completely threatened and confused by other women's success. It's very disappointing.

I don't like surgery. I don't like elective surgery, I don't like surgery that you have to have.

That disturbs people when they know they didn't have the guts or integrity to stick to their dreams.

At some point, the pride has to be a part of the whole day-to-day oeuvre. It's part of who you are and doesn't need to be discussed anymore.

I really, really love Hilary Clinton. I think she's very cool. She's out there and she's involved.

I'm studying Kabbalah, which is really the essence of Jewish spirituality.

I'm very much an optimist. I don't think I could do my work if I didn't believe there was some kind of hope for humanity.

I've become this sort of icon for the gay community. I don't like the position.

I like the energy of live performance.

I really have a problem with any kind of drug, I always have.

There are few performers who would have had the audacity to even bring up the fact that they had been poorly reviewed.

When people pay to see you live, they connect with you on a much deeper level than people who just buy your records.

Everybody has their own way of tapping into their realness.

The real terrorist threats are George W. Bush and his band of brown-shirted thugs.

I can't tell you 100 percent what makes a relationship work. But I can see something good coming and I can see something bad coming.

When you're watching the news, how many days in a row can you watch that and feel good about yourself and the world?

Smut, if it's really smut, there's nothing backing it up. It's the easy way out.

I think I've drawn from some of the most feminine women, like Jackie Kennedy. I am totally devastated that she's gone. She had it all.

I'm sure that Jesus was an incredible person.