MELODY BEATTIE

According to some Eastern religion, there is a belt that goes across the world, and I've heard that Minnesota is right in the heart of this spiritual-creative belt of energy.

We are on a very rich emotional and physical journey on this planet.

Feel what you feel, know what you know, and set your relatives free to do the same.

In martial arts, every time you graduate, move to another level, you don't forget everything you've done. You build on it, but it's always there.

I gave three years of my life to take care of my dying mother who had Alzheimer's disease. Being there for her every need for three years might have looked codependent but it wasn't because it was what I wanted to do.

What do you do when life blindfolds you and spins you around? We think it's our fault, that we're to blame, when really we should be focused on being gentle with ourselves.

Twelve-step promotes spirituality, not religion. It gives a practical, day-to-day spirituality that tells me what I can and cannot control. There is room to be imperfect and to be someone who struggles to find God.

A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior.

Letting go helps us to to live in a more peaceful state of mind and helps restore our balance. It allows others to be responsible for themselves and for us to take our hands off situations that do not belong to us. This frees us from unnecessary stress.

Each moment in time we have it all, even when we think we don't.

The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals.

Guilt can stop us from taking healthy care of ourselves.

Relationships are where we take our recovery on the road.

There are almost as many definitions of co-dependency as there are experiences that represent it.

We can trust ourselves to know when our boundaries are being violated.

Live your life fom your heart. Share from your heart. And your story will touch and heal people's souls.

Don't violate your own code of values and ethics, but don't waste energy trying to make other people violate theirs.

Few things can make us feel crazier than expecting something from someone who has nothing to give.

It's hard to give up the self-esteem connected to being codependent and appearing 'right,' which is probably a survival behavior learned from growing up in a crazy family. It feels like you will actually disappear.

I used to be afraid of pain, didn't take a lot of risks, especially in love. I'm not as afraid anymore. I'm more spontaneous, more likely to say what I think.

Much of the time, the things we feel guilty about are not our issues. Another person behaves inappropriately or in some way violates our boundaries. We challenge the behavior, and the person gets angry and defensive. Then we feel guilty.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.

Make New Year's goals. Dig within, and discover what you would like to have happen in your life this year. This helps you do your part. It is an affirmation that you're interested in fully living life in the year to come.

Few things can frustrate us more than trying to make a person someone he or she isn't; we feel crazy when we try to pretend that person is someone he or she is not.

Some therapists have proclaimed: 'Co-dependency is anything, and everyone is co-dependent.'