Adam Ferrara Quotes

Doing a little work around the house. I put fake brick wallpaper over a real brick wall, just so I'd be the only one who knew. People come over and I'm gonna say, "Go ahead, touch it... it feels real."

My home is my castle, and I spend a lot of time nurturing it, redecorating - moving this and adjusting that, adding flowers and candles.

I am so happy that I married a comedy writer. He's never not without a joke. No matter where we are.

I have a real passion for many aspects of home lifestyle and beauty.

Nobody makes me laugh like my wife.

The reason I keep talking about a wife and saying the word 'wife' on stage is because it seems a funny word to me. The more you say it, the more it seems to detach from that person and become this sort of abstract thing: that you would set out to find a wife, that it would be an objective like buying a new car.

I've always been interested in DIY and home renovation - even from my first student flat. I've always left places better than when I moved in.

I've had rooms that didn't come out to my liking.

If I ever buy a house and redo the bathroom, I'm putting urinals in there.

Because I grew up in such tight spaces, I don't get manicures, pedicures. I'm not into cars, but I am into a fabulous house. I wanted the spiral staircase, clean sheets on the bed, to be able to take a shower.

My former assistant used to tell me I have a problem with cushions and she was totally right. The reason is because I'm constantly rearranging things in my house. And if I can't move a whole piece of furniture, the easiest thing to rearrange is cushions. I like to keep things fresh.

What we've found is that there's a real gap between what people see and love for their home and actually pulling the trigger and making it happen. One of the biggest problems is people are afraid to make the wrong purchase.

If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.

To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise.

I did buy a new piece of furniture so it's like, "Oh, that's something new." But generally my goals are made in the fall.

My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.

I tell ya, I don't get no respect ... Last week, my wife told me that she was going to cut me down to twice a month. But I thought about it, and I figured that it wasn't too bad. I know a couple of guys that she cut out completely.

I do find that humor helps in relationships. It certainly helps in my marriage now because I'm a very, very fallible person. And if I wasn't funny I'd be kicked right out the door.

She shrieked. "Nora! What happened to the banister!" Good thing she hadn't seen her bedroom yet.

[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.

I wonder what chairs think about all day: "Oh, here comes another asshole."

While President Bush was out of town Hillary Clinton stopped by the White House on Friday for an important meeting with her decorator.