Ogden Nash Quotes

I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.

Wine maketh the band quivering, the eye watery, the night unquiet, lewd dreams, a stinking breath in the morning, and an utter forgetfulness of all things.

A good margarita, a good red wine, I like expensive alcohol, but not a lot of it. I don't like to throw up.

Because of the high altitude, you get drunk really fast. So everyone's drunk all the time.

Beer. It always seems like such a good idea at the time, doesn't it? What's worse is beer seems like an even better idea after you've had some beer.

Not drunk is he who from the floor - Can rise alone and still drink more; But drunk is They, who prostrate lies, Without the power to drink or rise.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

Wine is a mocker, strong drink is riotous; and whoever is deceived by it is not wise

At the third cup, wine drinks the man.

Sometimes I had too many beers.

I thought, Hey, maybe these people shouldn't be making up holidays to drink more. Maybe if they drank less they might be able to title their newspaper articles more specifically. For example, I would title this last article "Drunk Driver Hits Drunk Walker Drunkety-Drunk I'm So Drunk."

One more drink and I'd have been under the host.

Lo! the poor toper whose untutored sense, Sees bliss in ale, and can with wine dispense; Whose head proud fancy never taught to steer, Beyond the muddy ecstasies of beer.

Tequila. Straight. There's a real polite drink. You keep drinking until you finally take one more and it just won't go down. Then you know you've reached your limit.

The first draught serveth for health, the second for pleasure, the third for shame, and the fourth for madness.

Of course I get drunk, my brain is only the size of a walnut.

Bacchus hath drowned more men than Neptune.

Wine hath drowned more men than the sea.

Drink not the third glass, which thou canst not tame, when once it is within thee.

Whiskey's to tough, Champagne costs too much, Vodka puts my mouth in gear. I hope this refrain, Will help me explain, As a matter of fact, I like beer.

It is widely held that too much wine will dull a man's desire. Indeed it will in a dull man.

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.

Really, can anyone drink several martinis at lunch?

He is a drunkard who takes more than three glasses though he be not drunk.

... like Daniel Webster after taking a pint of brandy.