George Carlin Quotes

I'm a meathead, man. You've got smart people, and you've got dumb people. I just happen to be dumb.

If he were any dumber, he'd be a tree.

There are only two races on this planet - the intelligent and the stupid.

People are not stupid.

Only in Britain could it be thought a defect to be too clever by half. The probability is that too many people are too stupid by three-quarters.

Spike Lee is obviously more stupid than anyone can be by accident.

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

There is a tendency of people to try to make you believe only a few people are smart. As a brain surgeon, I know better than that.

Intellect is invisible to the man who has none.

There is no fundamental difference between man and the higher animals in their mental faculties.

Some people just don’t have high enough IQs to compete.

The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt. Even those of the intelligent who believe that they have a nostrum are too individualistic to combine with other intelligent men from whom they differ on minor points.

I'm not dumb, I just wasn't educated.

Other things being equal, it is better to be smart than to be stupid.

Rick Steiner is so stupid, it takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.

Wit does not take the place of knowledge.

Suppose, gentleman, that man is not stupid.

These little grey cells. It is up to them.

I've never met a funny person who wasn't smart. I've met a lot of dramatic people who were stupid. But I've never met a funny person who wasn't smart.

I've got an IQ of 40 million.

I'm no genius, sure, but I'm no dum-dum.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

I'm not too unintelligent.

I'm a little smarter than most.