Ralphie May Quotes

You can't be a proper comic unless you've been out on stage and felt the fear.

A lot of comedians are really funny onstage, but they can't do a podcast.

I do standup every week in L.A. at the Laugh Factory and the Improv.

You say a line and you wait for them to laugh, then you say another line and you wait... It felt weird to me. But it's interesting and the energy is almost like theatre, I suppose, with all the people there.

Stand-up is the scariest thing - whether it's TV, movies, improv - stand-up is the worst.

There are lines that I know are going to get a belly laugh, but after a few shows I get sick of hearing myself say them so I drop them.

Especially when I'm heckled, that's a sticky situation because I don't defuse it... I really envy guys who have a grittier onstage presence and can really go after someone. I used to teach preschool.

I know what I want to talk about, but I don't really know what's funny about a joke until I perform it in front of an audience.

People often tell me that they have no idea how I can do standup. The idea of trying to make a large group of strangers laugh is, for many, absolutely petrifying - and it is - but there are ways of gradually developing the material that can ease the fear.

I never wanted to be road comic.

I actually enjoy being heckled; it keeps it interesting, and I think it is a nice feeling for people once they have left the show.

If you're a comedian, you are looking for material in daily life.

I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.

I had some friends that tried it down there, and I went to a couple of open mics, and I just kind of got this... this sick urge to try it instead of just watching it.

There's so many ways to do stand up, and I think for awhile, people weren't really maximizing the freedom of it.

I don't get up, get dressed, go out, and think, 'Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.'

Like every comedian, if I heard a joke that I thought would work, I used it.

My career is playing the guys who go, 'Boo.' That's what I do.

If I'm in a town for very long, usually I'll work out in the comedy club just to keep my chops or work out the beats on new stuff.

Most open-mic experiences I had were okay.

I've actually never done standup before.

I couldn't deliver a joke if you asked me to. It would have to be live and spontaneous. And that's what I was able to have in New York, at 9 o'clock in the morning, and people all over the country seemed to respond to it.

All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.

I had no desire to get up onstage and tell jokes. I prefer to stand next to really funny people.

Rehearsals are for gags.