Michael McIntyre Quotes

When you're a stand-up, you play in front of 600 people, and it's all about timing. I could never do stand-up comedy; it would be way too hard for me.

I wanted to be a comedian.

If you're a comedian, you are looking for material in daily life.

The basic function of a comic is stand-up because it's so straightforward and simple. If the audience don't laugh, you didn't do your job. I've had some audiences where I didn't care if they laughed or not because they were either too drunk or stupid.

Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.

I think you're a comedian as soon as you start. I don't think there's a moment where you become a full comic.

You say a line and you wait for them to laugh, then you say another line and you wait... It felt weird to me. But it's interesting and the energy is almost like theatre, I suppose, with all the people there.

When you're doing stand-up, you can comment if something fails, get a laugh from that.

I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one thing that I feel like I could do, it would be that. That doesn't mean that I like it, but I feel that's what I am.

With stand-up, it doesn't matter who you are. If the audience claps because they love your movies, that clapping stops after five seconds, and then it's your job to make them laugh.

Our first gig was a battle of the bands. We did 45 minutes of comedy and never played a note - and we won!

The ability to workshop in stand-up comedy is incomparable to any art form, in my opinion.

The bigger the audience, the better with comedy.

I might've been witty, but I didn't have a shtick. So, I never considered myself a comedian.

I like the purity of stand-up because it is all about whether people laugh at your jokes. Either they laugh or they don't.

Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.

A special validates you as a stand-up by documenting your material.

Stand-up comedy is a sickness. Who wouldn't want a room full of people laughing and screaming at you just because of who you are? Nothing is as good, except maybe having a baby.

Stand-up is successful if they laugh. It's unsuccessful if they don't laugh.

I don't play comedy as comedy. That would be the biggest trap. I think about the characters and their situations. Then you don't have to worry where the laugh is going to be. But comedy is harder than drama.

Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.

Everyone tells me I need to do comedy. It's never something that crossed my mind, but to be able to do a true comedy and make people laugh, that would be great.

I always tell comics you got to hang with your stand-up.

Like every comedian, if I heard a joke that I thought would work, I used it.

With most specials, even the best comedians will tell you they could have cut 15 or 20 minutes out of it.