Joseph R. Biden Jr. Quotes

New York for a long time was a kind of conductor's graveyard.

A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.

I am more of a New Yorker than ever and just actually, sometimes I fantasize about living somewhere else, where it's maybe not quite so crowded or stressful, blah, blah, blah and after September 11th, I guess I could just not imagine living anywhere else.

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.

Seattle has always been home.

London made my family and myself.

For years, I've mocked Norfolk and King's Lynn, and now I find out I'm from there!

Comedy is the difference between how you see a person and how they see themselves.

I think the reason why people loved 'Jem' in the '80s was because it kind of gave them this story of a place to fit in. It's about finding your place.

When people ask where I'm from, I tell them Washington, because that's where I feel the most comforted by the people.

I believe everyone has their own place in B'town.

Of all the places I've ever been, Austin is the only place that has felt like home. I fit in here.

We have a need to make people laugh at things they'd never thought about, make them laugh at things that aren't logical.

After four and a half intense and wonderful years as CEO of Groupon, I've decided that I'd like to spend more time with my family. Just kidding - I was fired today.

It seems to me that Canadian sensibility has been profoundly disturbed, not so much by our famous problem of identity, important as that is, as by a series of paradoxes in what confronts that identity. It is less perplexed by the question "Who am I?" than by some such riddle as "Where is here?

This is the only place that I don't feel out of place, because everyone here is out of place.

I was walking down the street, and I found a man's hand in my pocket. I asked, "What do you want?" "A match" "Why didn't you ask me?" "I don't talk to strangers."

A joke is a joke or the image of a truth.

Everybody's got somewhere they call home.

Home is the wallpaper above the bed, the family dinner table, the church bells in the morning, the bruised shins of the playground, the small fears that come with dusk, the streets and squares and monuments and shops that constitute one's first universe.

Home is memory, home is your history, home is where you work. Some people want to abandon it and become truly local. But the questions are all there.

There is no such thing as an appropriate joke. That's why it's a joke.