Demetri Martin Quotes

I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.

I'm a walking contradiction. I am funny that way.

What is ridiculous about human beings, Doctor,' the prince said, 'is actually their total incapacity to be ridiculous

When you see things upside down, the ego can be extraordinarily funny; it's absurd. But it's tragic at the same time.

A situation is always comic if it participates simultaneously in two series of events which are absolutely independent of each other, and if it can be interpreted in two quite different meanings.

The concept of absurdity is something I'm attracted to.

I know that I'm deeply, spiritually, profoundly philosophical and I also know that I'm about the flakiest person you're gonna meet.

So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'

What I claim is to live to the full the contradiction of my time, which may well make sarcasm the condition of truth.

Acting is a very limited form of expression and those who take it seriously are very limited people. I take it seriously.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

It's just something that's sort of funny, sort of not.

We are, all of us, incoherent text, and just knowing that - knowing that no matter how much you say, 'I am this' and part of you is not that - means that you can say it.

I love to dance, but the flip side is that I can't dance.

The minute you celebrate narcissism, which on one hand is very complex, it's very ridiculous. You have to love oneself with humor.

If I am Sophocles, I am not mad; and if I am mad, I am not Sophocles.

Travel at its truest is thus an ironic experience, and the best travellers . . . seem to be those able to hold two or three inconsistent ideas in their minds at the same time, or able to regard themselves as at once serious persons and clowns.

I like to ride the line between absurd and sincere.

Irony is the word I forget the meaning of immediately after I look it up, but I kind of feel like I live in a constant state of it.

It serves the purpose of not serving a purpose, surely quite a valid one.

A sense of absurdity interferes with my efforts to appear venerable.

Life is too important to be taken as a joke, but too ridiculous to be taken seriously.

I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.

I'll just take amusement at being a paradox.

Our own peculiar human condition is that we are as fit to be laughed at as able to laugh.