Chris Rock Quotes

The desire to take medicine is perhaps the greatest feature which distinguishes man from animals.

We may never understand illnesses such as cancer. In fact, we may never cure it. But an ounce of prevention is worth more than a million pounds of cure.

I'd like to focus on my life on creating new medicines for people who are suffering from rare disease.

Therefore in medicine we ought to know the causes of sickness and health.

Medicine is so fascinating.

Medication can help us live a happier life.

Medicine is so big and so important.

Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, "A teaspoon before going to bed," and in one day he uses seven bottles.

I got the pumps It aint got medicine

Kids like my act because I'm wearing nose glasses. Adults like my act because there's a guy who thinks putting on nose glasses is funny.

Once when I was lost I asked a policeman to help me find my parents. I said to him, 'Do you think we'll ever find them?' He answered, 'I don't know, kid. There are so many places they can hide.

It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously

Then there was the time in Hollywood when I sat down in a breakaway chair and it collapsed on me. I was nearly knocked out and might have been even more seriously hurt but my fall was broken by the smog.

When I was a little kid I always wanted to be ginger. My best friend was ginger and he was pretty cool.

Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.

I think absurdist humor is funny.

My manager said, "Don't use liquor as a crutch!" I can't use liquor as a crutch, because a crutch helps me walk.

It ought to be an offense to be excruciating and unfunny in circumstances where your audience is almost morally obliged to enthuse.

Doctor just told me I can't have kids. I asked for a second opinion. He said, Why? No one's gonna to let you take kids from this hospital.

I've been playing golf a long time, although it's not really true that on my first round they strapped my bag on the back of a dinosaur.

Eggs! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance!

Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?

I went to a restaurant, and I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket, eating a hamburger, drinking a glass of milk. I said, "Dude, you are a cow. The metamorphosis is complete. Don't fall asleep or I will tip you over!"

When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.

I put a What Would Jesus Do bracelet on my Jewish friend's wrist and it burned his skin. He threw it on the ground, it turned into a serpent, we both started laughing. We left it there, we hate snakes. We think they're slimy, even though we know they're not.