Robert Orben Quotes

I'm not a good joke teller.

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.

If you have the right voice and the right delivery, you're cocky enough, and you pound down on the punch line, you can say anything and make people laugh maybe three times before they realize you're not telling jokes.

Loads of blokes think they're funny, but it counts for nothing unless you get up and have a go.

Here's the thing, with comedy - and I learned this from Will Ferrell - you can't be ashamed. If you're doing comedy, you have to fully commit to the joke. Shame is not part of it. If you act shy or uncomfortable about your body, that makes the audience shy and uncomfortable. And in a comedy you just want them to loosen up and laugh.

To be a comedian, you gotta jokesmith, there's no way around it.

My whole life, I've been telling jokes.

I'm really good at standup. I always win at standup.

When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain.

A joke is a way to say, 'I'm going to do something funny now. If I don't get a laugh at the end, I'm a failure.'

I know what's funny, and I probably know the best way to deliver the joke. Whether it's walking out of a room, facing that way, facing this way. I just have a sense of that.

I don't know any jokes, which is embarrassing. I wish I did.

I'm used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny.

I told jokes badly.

I would love to do comedy, but you have to be phenomenally good. I'm not sure I'm there yet. I can imagine it being so much fun but I don't think I've quite got the gall to go ahead just yet.

I had no desire to get up onstage and tell jokes. I prefer to stand next to really funny people.

Comedy is not about appearance; it's about rockin' a mike. Are they laughing? That's the only test.

I never feel like it'll be something where like, 'Aha, I've got it. I'm funny for the rest of my life. I don't need to tell jokes anymore. I just am comedy.'

When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.

Actually I never did stand up. I'm not that funny.

For comedy, timing is key.

Being a stand-up is my mission in life; it's my passion. My ongoing goal is to simply be funny, on my own, in front of a roomful of strangers.

I never used to tell jokes on stage. Now I'm cutting up jokes all night long.

I think comedy I've learned is really just about relaxing and trusting yourself and allowing yourself to fail.

I tell the most horrible jokes.