Demetri Martin Quotes

To be a comedian, you gotta jokesmith, there's no way around it.

On the stage you're there, it's live. There's a beginning, a middle, an end. When something is funny you hear it right away.

I told jokes badly.

I believe it is tough to be funny and tougher to make people laugh. And it needs to be been done effortlessly. A joke can be comedy, but one can kill the joke if it is delivered badly.

When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.

My whole life, I've been telling jokes.

When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain.

I've been a stand-up comedian for years, and I can be silly.

If you have the right voice and the right delivery, you're cocky enough, and you pound down on the punch line, you can say anything and make people laugh maybe three times before they realize you're not telling jokes.

There's an art to comedy.

Comedy is not easy to do - where you make someone laugh out loud in their living room.

Actually I never did stand up. I'm not that funny.

I'd like to make you laugh for about ten minutes though I'm gonna be on for an hour.

For comedy, timing is key.

Being a stand-up is my mission in life; it's my passion. My ongoing goal is to simply be funny, on my own, in front of a roomful of strangers.

The really good stand up comedians can be angry but relatable, and they have interestingly humanizing personalities. Their observational skills are far greater than mine, so I'll just stick to reading lines off a page.

A joke is a way to say, 'I'm going to do something funny now. If I don't get a laugh at the end, I'm a failure.'

Actually, I think I'm funnier off-camera.

You really have no idea whether or not what you're writing is funny. In stand-up and sketch comedy, you know right away and you can make your changes accordingly.

To be really great, you need to be naturally funny in order to stand out. But you can work at it, and find the best vehicle that you have to communicate what you're saying to people.

With silly stuff, it's seventy-five percent confidence. I always tell people that it's because I'm nervous about getting that next laugh and I need to hear it. I always want to condense a joke.

I've never considered stand-up. Luckily I'm given great lines to say. I'm not sure how great my timing would be if I actually had to come up with my own jokes.

Comedy is hard to do. All the cliches about it are true.

Stand-up comedy is a raunchy profession.

The success of any stand-up act comes out of life experience.