LESLIE JONES

I'm really good at standup. I always win at standup.

My job is to bring the tickle. I know what's funny.

I had all the intentions of being the next Eddie Murphy.

I take care of everybody. I'm either hugging you or making sure that you're not sick, because my backpack has every kind of medicine in it.

When you're writing a sketch, it has to be surrounded by a situation. It can't just be out of the air.

You know what makes me mad about 'The Bachelorette?' That, you know, that that chick would get a man. Get me a date.

As soon as I touched the mic, I knew that's what I would do for the rest of my life.

When my brother passed away... I made a decision that I might die soon, and if I die, I want people to know who I really am.

I've been six feet tall since the sixth grade.

Every black comedian in the country knew what I could do. But that doesn't mean everyone else is paying attention.

I know I'm fly - don't get me wrong. But I don't look, like, standard Hollywood. As a comedian, it's something you learn to use.

They redid 'Roots,' and everyone was saying, 'Oh, it shouldn't have been done.' I was like, 'It definitely should have been done.' Because it needs to be refurbished for the new generation so they can understand it.

I'm glad this whole success thing is happening now. I can't even imagine a 23-year-old Leslie in this position.

There was a time where I knew I was as funny as many dudes, but I had people telling me, 'You have to wear a dress onstage. You need to be more feminine.'

When we did this reboot, I thought 'Ghostbusters' fans would be so excited: 'They've got the new technology - the ghosts are going to look real now.'

I love the people at my job. I love my boss. I love my camera men, I love my crew - because they all surrounded me with straight love.

I met the CEO of Twitter.

I get real brave when I text people. When I text people, I am so brave because it's words, but you can't say stuff.

Hate speech and freedom of speech are two different things.

The day that I saw Whoopi Goldberg on television, I cried so hard because I kept looking at my daddy going, 'Oh my God. There's somebody on TV that looks like me! She looks like me! Yay! I can be on TV! I can be on TV! I can do it! Look at her - look at her! She looks just like me.'

It was always hard for me to find clothes.

I just knew that I was funny, and I knew that it was just a matter of time. I didn't know what was going to actually happen - this is definitely way bigger than I thought - but I knew there was no way I was going to be that funny, and nobody was going to notice it.

Bill Murray was just so funny to me - there wasn't anything spooking him.

I would never quit comedy to make money. I've been doing it, like, 30 years. I still love it. That's my life.

People used to call me names, so my mom had this beautiful African lady come talk to me.