Dave Attell Quotes

This bloke was so pissed, he thought his vomit had come to life!

Every time I do something silly, it comes off really funny because it's natural.

If drunk were cookies, I'd be Famous Amos

While he was drunk asleep, or in his rage, or in the incestuous pleasure of his bed.

Having been familiar with "drunk" once or twice myself, that lick just came to me - and yeah, it sounded very drunk, so I presented it to Alice [Cooper]. It felt like he wrote the lyrics in about a minute.

The story we hear over and over again is: Boy in science class, very nice to the girl, says, "Please come to our party on Saturday night." She, of course, shows up. He hands her two, three, four, five drinks. She becomes so inebriated he says, "You can sleep it off in my room. It'll be safe." Or, "I'll walk you home." It's all premeditated with the intention of having sex with that woman without her consent when she's passed out. It's a huge issue.

I was a little drunk. Not drunk in any positive sense but just enough to be careless.

I do all kind of fun things when I'm unconscious.

Violation is a synonym for intercourse.

Women are raped and coerced into sex.

If you are passed out drunk or if there is a gun to your head, it is the same crime. It is a crime where there is not consent. It is a felony. And we need to start making sure victims understand that, so they don't do the self blame.

He in a few minutes ravished this fair creature, or at least would have ravished her, if she had not, by a timely compliance, prevented him.

I spilled some vodka on the carpet, and I vacuumed it up, and the vacuum got drunk. I had to take the Hoover to detox.

I was somewhat drunk with what I had done. And I am always one to prefer being sober.

A recent study announced that 52 per cent of all teens who sign virginity pledges recant them within twelve months. If I'm on my game.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Doing a life study while drunk and in the process of being seduced is never a formula for quality art.

The wife who submits to sexual intercourse against her wishes or desires, virtually commits suicide; while the husband who compels it, commits murder.

[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.

Talking to a drunk person was like talking to an extremely happy, severely brain-damaged three-year-old.

I was raped by a doctor. Which is, you know, so bittersweet for a Jewish girl.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Rohypnol

He raped me … he fondled me, he put me on all fours, and had sex with me.

Last week I was walking by a cemetery, two guys came after me with shovels. It was all about money.