Henry David Thoreau Quotes

I try to only eat animals that are vegan. I'm probably the opposite of a vegan.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Oh, what would you like on your vegetarian pizza?" "Dead pigs and cows," I said. She glanced up at me and wrinkled her nose. "They're vegetarians," I said defensively.

Anything I shouldn't laugh at makes me laugh.

I suppose I wanted to have my cake and eat it. But then again, what were you going to do with your cake if not eat it? Frame it? Use it as a sachet in your underwear drawer?

It would surpass the powers of a well man nowadays to take up his bed and walk, and I should certainly advise a sick one to lay down his bed and run.

I don't like the word ironic. I like the word absurdity, and I don't really understand the word 'irony' too much. The irony comes when you try to verbalize the absurd. When irony happens without words, it's much more exalted.

I am everything and I am nothing. I am just kidding; I am not everything and nothing. That would be ridiculous. I am just everything.

Life would be very pleasant if it were not for its enjoyments.

How art thou out of breath when thou hast breath To say to me that thou art out of breath?

I have lived temperately, eating little animal food, and that not as an aliment, so much as a condiment for the vegetables, which constitute my principal diet.

Liz looks at the tissue box, which is decorated with drawings of snowmen engaged in various holiday activities. One of the snowmen is happily placing a smiling rack of gingerbread men in an oven. Baking gingerbread men, or any cooking for that matter, is probably close to suicide for a snowman, Liz thinks. Why would a snowman voluntarily engage in an activity that would in all likelihood melt him? Can snowmen even eat? Liz glares at the box.

Meat!" he said scornfully. "I'm a vegetarian." You eat cheese enchiladas and aluminum cans," I reminded him. Those are vegetables.

in our ordinaryness we are most bizarre.

I'm pretty confusing. But I do have an oil rig in my back yard.

You're a genius! And the proof is that both common people and intellectuals find your work completely incoherent.

Tragedy is the most ridiculous thing.

Irony - The modern mode: either the devil’s mark or the snorkel of sanity.

We've got a lot of experience of not having any experience

I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep.

Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of 'systematically assisting Sisyphus's stealthy, syst-susceptible sister,' which is easier done than said.

He's as nutty as a vegan T-bone.

Our own peculiar human condition is that we are as fit to be laughed at as able to laugh.

I conclude that there is as much sense in nonsense as there is nonsense in sense.

I used to own an ant farm but had to give it up. I couldn't find tractors small enough to fit it.