Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

The best advice I've ever received is, 'No one else knows what they're doing either.

I do not know who I am tonight.

How do you tell somebody how to find what they're looking for when ten years ago you came from the same place, and have yet to find it yourself?

It's a lot easier to be lost than found. It's the reason we're always searching and rarely discovered--so many locks not enough keys.

I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

You get lost out of a desire to be lost. But in the place called lost strange things are found.

I never knew what an engineer did for a living when I was a kid. I still don't.

I don't have any kids. Well, at least none I know about.

I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building.

They call me the confuser. Is he a man... is he a woman? Ooh, I'm not sure if I mind.

It's hard to get lost if you don't know where you're going.

When I'm 70 I might be a man in a park just wandering around, speaking in tongues with kids throwing bread at me.

Why were there no buoys in life to show you the way?

Whatever the future holds I'm not really sure.

Give me a lamp so I can find the day.

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.

The more I think of you, the less I think of you.

Let's start at 35 because I don't know where it is.

I know one thing for certain; it is much harder to tell whether you are lost than whether you were lost, for, on many occasions, where you are going is exactly where you are. On the other hand, if you often find that where you've been is not at all where you should have gone, and, since it's much more difficult to find your way back from someplace you've never left, I suggest you go there immediately and then decide.

I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.

A learned man came to me once. He said, "I know the way, -- come." And I was overjoyed at this. Together we hastened. Soon, too soon, were we Where my eyes were useless, And I knew not the ways of my feet. I clung to the hand of my friend; But at last he cried, "I am lost.

Well, when one's lost, I suppose it's good advice to stay where you are until someone finds you.

When it comes to sex there are certain things that should always be left unknown, and with my luck, they probably will be.