Bill Maher Quotes

Do you know you couldn't get a date with a $20 bill taped to your forehead?

I never liked the bar scene. I tried to like it. I would give it a try every three or four months. I'd think, tonight I'm going out. But I never met anybody in that circumstance.

I literally learned everything I could try to do to get a date, and it did not work when I was younger. I heard people love musicians, so I took up the bagpipes.

Dora appeared, placing Alex's coffee in front of him."Your girlfriend is a wonder, honey,"she siad to him, squeezing willows shoulder. Willow's smile turned strained at the word "girlfriend. He could see her wanting to correct the woman and then deciding to let it pass.

I'm not very cool. I have a really hard time meeting people and stuff.

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.

I just don't give off a great first impression.

Dating is kind of hard. Like dinner or something like that. Like a forced awkward situation is very strange. Especially for me, for some reason.

If you're entering a room for the first time, do it the way you would in life - look around; see how they have the furniture arranged. If your character is meeting another character for the first time, meet them the way you would in life.

I don't know the first real thing about the dating game. I don't know how to talk to a specific person and connect. I just think you have to go to person by person and do the best you can with people in general.

It's not like I've wanted to go out and look for someone. I'm not really good at that.

When I meet people for the first time, I'm friendly but shy. I'm much less outwardly nervous than I used to be, but I still get anxious sometimes.

I was at a party in London when I met Bond producer Barbara Broccoli. She introduced herself, and I didn't believe her name. So I just replied: 'Yeah, and I'm Cathy Carrot.' I think maybe I got off on the wrong foot!

I'm so socially awkward. I really had to put myself out there and meet new people.

You can't go up to girls and start talking about minor 7ths and expect to pull. It's not going to work.

I don't judge anybody until I meet them.

I love to go to the bar close by for a good espresso and have a chat with the bartender.

Everyone is entitled to their opinions, and I feel like everyone judges people: regardless of whether they know someone or not, they have an opinion based on the persona of the person. I guess you can only have a real opinion of who they are as a person once you meet someone.

How was your flight? Well, aeronautically it was a great success. Socially, it left quite a bit to be desired.

The dating process is not normal for me.

The more Discovery Channel you watch, the less chance you have of ever meeting a woman. Because it fills your head with odd facts that can come out at any moment. "Hello. Did you know Hitler was ticklish? That sea otters have four nipples? Wait - don't run away!"

I'm a bad dater. I'm the most socially awkward person, like carrying on conversations and stuff.

Let's face it: a date is a job-interview, that lasts all night. The only difference between a date and a job interview is: not many job-interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it.

Imma go to Starbucks in the morning for some coffee, if it ain't no girls there i won't buy no damn coffee!

My father was very strict, but mostly I just didn't know how to behave on a date.