Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

I think the whole concept of dating is deeply flawed, so maybe it's a good thing to be undateable. There's a difference between being unlovable and undateable.

Dating is for tools.

I like dressing up for dates and dissecting a dinner conversation with a new guy to determine if he might be The One.

There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection IS the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted.

Flirting is the first step in a long process of finding the right man or woman.

Compatibility is weird. Love is confusing. Love is one wild beast.

I'm not very good at dating. I'm very decisive. If I like someone, then they're my boyfriend. It's pretty straightforward.

At 14 I discovered girls. At that time dancing was the only way you could put your arm around the girl. Dancing was courtship.

I love going on dates and talking.

I have to really enjoy someone's personality, not just their looks, before I'll kiss them.

I've never been Romeo who meets a girl and falls for her immediately. It's been a much slower process for me each time I've gone into a relationship.

I'm one of those guys that - as far as relationships and stuff go - if you smile at me, I'm like, 'Let's date for three years' - which is just ridiculous.

Dating is... weird.

I'm not in love, but I'm open to persuasion.

I'm not very good at dating.

There was a time when I was willing to marry any cute boy that looked at me.

You like someone, you court each other, you get into a relationship. You're answerable to each other. Whereas, the non-answerability of dating, my God, I don't know if I would ever be able to.

I am a modern day girl, and of course I have dated many guys.

Dating, to people, can mean completely different things.

You either have chemistry or you don't, but a lot of what attracts me is a guy's mind and humor and talent. I need to get to know all those things before I fall for someone. I'm not a one-night-stand kind of girl. I'm a relationship girl.

There is a no man's land between sex and love, and it alters in the night.

Love is just a system for getting someone to call you darling after sex.

Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night?

I lacked some essential skill for attracting people, for giving and receiving love easily. It meant too much to me. I seemed to be driving away the people I most wanted. Finally I had realized that getting someone to love you was like trying to coax a bird to perch on your finger . . . it wouldn't happen unless you stopped trying so hard.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second.