Skylar Grey Quotes

My mom has this ugly Santa ornament, and one year, I took it off the tree and clipped it to her pillow. We've been trading it back and forth ever since - 16 years now. I wore it to the Golden Globes and even put it in her bird feeder. As the birds eat, it's slowly revealed.

My poor mother. Every time I get a job, she asks, 'Am I gonna have to watch you kiss someone again in this one?' and I say, 'You're probably gonna have to watch me kiss someone in most of them, Mom.'

One time my mom tried to ground me, but that lasted 15 minutes.

Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, 'A house guest,' you're wrong because I have just described my kids.

I'm lucky that my real-life Mom has both a great sense of humor about herself and an amazing ability to slip into complete denial if the subject matter gets a little too close to home.

My mom makes something called green pie, which I thought was a delicacy that many people only had at Thanksgiving, but it turns out it was just Jell-O with whipped cream on it. And it's delicious.

My sister, mom and I all wear the same size, so I shop a lot at a boutique called 'my mother's closet' that is right down the hall from my bedroom. She has vintage Comme des Garcons dresses that I feel so elegant wearing.

My mom loved to sing - and I'll go on record and say she was the worst singer ever. I'd get up and move away from her!

Come Christmas Eve, we usually go to my mom and dad's. Everybody brings one gift and then we play that game when we all steal it from each other. Some are really cool, others are useful and some are a bit out there.

My dad has a dry, deadpan sense of humor, and my mom has an unexpected, wacky take on things. They really encouraged laughing at ourselves and the weirdness of situations that come up growing up in politics.

I grew up with an extremely funny dad, and my mom is super funny.

I love spending time with my family and friends during the holidays, and my favorite holiday tradition would be the pozole that my mom makes almost every Christmas. It's the best!

My parents are both super funny, and I always knew I wanted to be on 'SNL.' My mom and I would watch it a lot.

My mom used to call me Joshy Boucher. I watched 'The Waterboy' so much, my mom started calling me Joshy Boucher. True story.

What makes me laugh is hearing the stuff about my son or the stuff about my mom. I was a big fan of Bill Cosby, Eddie Murphy; they talked a lot about their moms and their kids. Those are the things that inspired me to do stand-up.

Mom," said Peter, "nobody thinks you're a lackwit, if that's what you're worried about." Lackwit? In what musty drawer of some dead English professor's dust-covered desk did you find that word? I assure you that never in my worst nightmares did I ever suppose that I was a lackwit.

Did you get Mom a birthday present?" Helen asked. "Yes," Gansey replied. "Myself." "The gift that keeps on giving." "I don't think that minor children are required to get gifts for their parents. I'm a dependent. That's the definition of dependent, is it not?" "You, a dependent!" his sister said, and laughed. "You haven't been a dependent since you were four. You went straight from kindergarten to old man with a studio apartment.

Ooh, big day in town for our park warden,” I said. “They’re even making you wear the uniform. Hayley’s mom will be happy. She thinks you look hot in it.” Dad turned as red as his hair. Mom’s laugh floated out from her studio. “Maya Delaney. Leave your father alone.

There are no secrets at our house. We tell the kids, 'Mom and Dad are going off to kiss.' They go, 'Eww, gross!' But we demand it.

Honey, have you seen your sister?” She’s on Jupiter, Mom.

My sister-in-law found a real surprise in her stockings - my brother.

Maybe we ought to look at a guy's response to our microwave from now on." Aunt Annie said. Really." Mom said. "The narcissist looks at his reflection in it. The OCD guy thinks you don't keep it clean enough.The antisocial--" Puts his fist through it because it reminds him of his father." Annie said. She'd read all of mom's books, too. And the paranoid one would be jealous of the amount of time you spend cooking." Mom said Were you using that microwave again? Is something going on between the two of you? I caught you looking right at its clock." Annie said.

What's going to be funny is when they think Mom and Dad are a little bit cool, because right now, we're not cool Mom and Dad.

My dad has never actually grounded me. He always tells my mom to do it. He tells her, "Miley was so bad today, you need to ground her.

I needed to temper (my dad's) enthusiasm a bit (about attending Princeton), and so I announced that I would be majoring in patricide...My mom was actually jealous.