Alex Rodriguez Quotes

I have a very large forehead. I have a pronounced skull. Maybe producers think that there is a lot going on up in there.

It wasn't my finest hour. It wasn't even my finest hour and a half.

These stories about my intellectual capacity really get under my skin. You know, for a while I even thought my staff believed it. There on my schedule first thing every morning it said, 'Intelligence Briefing.'

My girlfriend just told me I am one of the smartest people she knows. I told her, You need to meet other people.

I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me.

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.

I'm really great at making terrible analogies.

I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones.

Even when I was in high school and the Navy, I was the guy who could rip somebody, and they'd laugh at it.

I'm just not very funny.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.

I don't think I'm funny.

I'm a meathead, man. You've got smart people, and you've got dumb people. I just happen to be dumb.

My type of humor is me not caring whether people know what I'm talking about or not.

When I grew up, people said, 'You'll never be the man your dad was.' And I said, 'Gee, I hope not.'

I like smart, funny, self-deprecating men.

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.

The only thing I know how to do is be funny - that's it.

I think I'm funnier in my writing than in person.

I never thought I was funny.

I'm not mean. I can't do a roast.

You, know I'm the Queen's favorite great nephew, Well, yeah I'm her only great nephew, but that's not important, I'd still be her favorite.