Johnny Vegas Quotes

I have not taken my good looks seriously from the beginning. When I would be teased by my friends about my looks, I would just make a self-deprecating remark and let it pass.

If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.

I don't have a waist: I'm a breadbox on top of legs.

I don't like to watch myself on screen because in my mind there is a touch of George Clooney about me, but when I see it, there is more than a little Donkey from 'Shrek' about me.

People think I have an interesting walk. Hell, I'm just trying to hold my gut in.

I'm odd looking. Sometimes I think I look like a funny muppet.

I've got a stomach now as well as a behind. And I mean - well, you can't pull it in both ways, can you? ... I've made it a rule to pull in my stomach and let my behind look after itself.

I just kind of have a comedic looking body, I guess. If anything I really have to exercise just to not look too fudgy, otherwise I would just keep going and going.

Yeah, it’s me, but I like to think I looked better when we met. ‘Cause right now, I’m pretty much hogging all the ugly. (Nick)

I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that.

What's David's role? David looks good, that's what David does. David looks good, and I'm the funny one, that's what I hear constantly. But I keep telling him that looks fade.

I know what I look like. I'm not a babe who's automatically going to be the leading-lady type. I think I would always be cast as the friend. I probably tend to look crap more often than I look good. I like messing around and pulling funny faces and doing funny walks.

The only thing I don't have is hips.

I never thought that I'd be considered to have a good body. I was bony up top and kind of dumpy on the bottom.

You don't find me too bald, do you? Old, and bald, and with a belly?

I guess I'm odd-looking. I'm skinny. But I'm not only skinny - I'm oddly shaped.

I was voted best-looking kid in high school but, as you can see, things changed. I used to say I was a 260 pound Woody Allen. You can make that 295 pound now.

There are certainly a billion, ker-trillion girls out there more attractive than I am.

I was making my living from a joke about my appearance that I didn't understand, and in a way still don't, because when I look in a mirror it doesn't seem funny to me.

I am the shortest and least funny person in my family.

I'm not a sex symbol. How could I be with these skinny bowlegs?

We were at a beach one summer, and I had a bathing suit on. My wife looked at me and said: 'Boy, you are skinny, aren't you?' I said: 'Honey, I'd like to remind you that it was minor defects like this that kept me from getting a better wife.'

For lack of a better term, they've labeled me a sex symbol. It's flattering and it should happen to every bald, overweight guy.

My bottom is so big it's got its own gravitational field.

I think I've got a funny face.