George W. Bush Quotes

I've been making fun of Donald Trump - we all have - for 10 years, and just bringing up his name... I mean, even if you're supportive of Donald Trump, there's still a lot to make fun of.

People go, 'Oh, Trump must be good for comedy,' and I go, 'Ehhh.'

George Bush says, 'Gore's book needs a lot of explaining.' Of course, Bush says that about every book.

Our problem with President Obama isn't that he's a bad person. By all accounts, he too is a good husband, and a good father - and thanks to lots of practice, a pretty good golfer.

It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.

Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize.

Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel peace prize.

There is nothing more frightening to a political satirist than an honest administration.

My whole career has been an Ann Coulter roast.

When it comes to politics, comedians read between the lines and see hypocrisies and half-truths. And we report those things to regular people who go, 'I noticed that, too!' or 'You're right, that doesn't make sense!'

Editorial pages all say, 'Well, the other guy has a point, too. It remains to be seen how this will come out. We certainly hope it comes out fine; blah, blah.' Cartoonists don't go that way. Our job is to stick out our tongues, to show a big raspberry to whatever pompous jerk happens to be mouthing off.

One of my most often repeated quips was the one I made when former Presidents Carter, Ford and Nixon stood by each other at a White House event. 'There they are,' I said. 'See no evil, hear no evil, and . . . evil.'

North Carolina Senator Jesse Helms has signed a deal with Random House to write his memoirs. Scholars will no doubt benefit from the reflections of a man who was wrong on every major issue for 40 years. Helms' aides say the proceeds from the book will be donated to the non-profit Jesse Helms Center where they apparently have more experience burning than publishing them.

Here comes the pope saying, "Well, that may be true about Cruz, but you build walls, and we Christians don't do that. So you're not a Christian, either." Sometimes all you can do is chuckle. I mean, you need a break from it some. You just can't be intense and wadded up all the time here, folks.

There is going to come a day when everyone here is going to need keen observation and wit to ridicule George W. Bush. But when that day comes, all we're going to have are tired puns and goofy looks. Because as you would say, we're suffering from the soft bigotry of low expectorations.

As a comedian, I think we all look for those areas where the truth diverts from what people are saying. That's why politics is such a rich area for us, because politicians make promises, and they don't keep them, and when we point out the difference, we get the laugh.

Do you get the feeling with Sarah Palin, in high school, she was voted least likely to write a book and most likely to burn one?

I heard Thackeray thank Heaven for the purity of Dickens. I thanked Heaven for the purity of a greater than Dickens - Thackeray himself.

I never wanted to do political satire because it seems too surface to me.

'American Dad' is, by its nature, much more political.

Genuine polemics approach a book as lovingly as a cannibal spices a baby.

I don't really have funny things to say about politics. I wish I did, but I don't.

With Clinton, there's no question that I would have made fun of his out-and-out lying. But he's also a good friend.

I'm glad Reagan is president. Of course, I'm a professional comedian.

Satire is fascinating stuff. It's deadly serious, and when politics begin to break down, there is a drift towards satire, because it's the only thing that makes any sense.