Jimmy Fallon Quotes

In politics its almost as big a sin to change your mind as it is to be wrong.

I adore political parties. They are the only place left to us where people don’t talk politics.

Senator Obama has been saying some pretty nasty things about Western Pennsylvania lately, and you know, I couldn’t agree with him more.

If Romney would go ideological in explaining Obama, it would help. We gotta stop the, 'He's a nice guy' stuff. Nice guys don't do what Obama is doing. Nice guys don't say and do and act the way Obama is saying, doing, and acting.

How ironic is it to see a bumper sticker that says 'Jesus is the answer' next to a bumper sticker supporting the war in Iraq, as if to says 'Jesus is the answer - but not in the real world.

The politician is an acrobat. He keeps his balance by saying the opposite of what he does.

If all the things the Republicans are saying about me are true, I wouldn't vote for myself either.

But I guess as long as I'm here, we might as well talk a little politics.

I never think about politics more than 18 hours a day.

I’m always amused by politicians running against Washington, when they desperately want to get to Washington.

There is nothing more frightening to a political satirist than an honest administration.

Definition of Moron: What the Republicans would call George W. Bush if he were the Democratic President

There is never just one way in politics.

It's easy to make jokes about Donald Trump. There is such a difference between what he says and his behavior. It's not 180 degrees off with him. It's some sort of oblique angle.

I'm not a political comic.

A few weeks ago, I was at the gym, talking to a friend about politics. Overhearing the conversation, a young man - maybe 25 years old - interrupted to say, 'Obama? He hasn't done a single thing!'

Rush Limbaugh advocating for objectivity is like Donald Trump advocating for humility.

I adore my family. I don't love their politics. I think they're wonderful parents. They were dreadful at parenting.

No one is better at deprecating President Trump than President Trump - just ask him.

You can be a namby-pamby leftie, a gun-toting neo-con, or a soft, indecisive moderate. I really don't care. Just don't lie to me.

You are who you are, and in politics, if you stay who you are, you do better.

I stay far away from political humor.

We critique all politicians who are in power, whenever there's a talking point.

I love book clubs. I just hate reading and talking to people.

In his big victory speech last night, Senator Kerry said that he wanted to defeat George Bush and the 'economy of privilege.' Then he hugged his wife, Teresa, heir to the multi-million dollar Heinz food fortune.