Christine McVie Quotes

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.

I do believe that on a whole, women are definitely smarter than men... I also believe that dogs are smarter than women. No? That one, you don't believe it? You believe that I didn't do a series of tests? You are right to not believe it, because I'm going to go ahead and admit that I do not believe what I just said, it was what's described as a 'joke.' Um, I'll be telling a bunch of them here tonight.

Self-parody is the first portent of age.

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.

For most of my 20s, I looked like I was 12. Now that I'm pushing 40, I guess I look closer to... 15? It must be my macrobiotic diet. Oh, wait, except that I don't have one of those.

I think when you do comedy, you play by a different set of rules. No one really wants you to be in that good shape. Being in good shape implies a level of vanity that isn't necessarily funny.

When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as 'Catch-22' I'm tempted to reply, 'Who has?'

They called me the sexiest economist in America, and that was years ago, when I had hair and body mass and my teeth were shiny.

The 'Phoenix Sun' did a list of the unsexiest men in the world, and I made it to number one. I beat out Bin Laden. He's a terrorist, hasn't bathed in months. I beat him out. To me it was a great honor.

Oscar Wilde turned the world upside down and was able to laugh at it, and hopefully by the time I'm 120 and worn out, that's what I will achieve. I love being alive so much.

I understand being less sexy than Osama bin Laden, but not less sexy than Carrot Top. That, I find offensive.

I've got the body of a model and the face of a coal miner.

For lack of a better term, they've labeled me a sex symbol. It's flattering and it should happen to every bald, overweight guy.

I'm so not scary. I'm a pussycat. But what are you going to do, right? I mean, these cheekbones, and I guess these eyes, and the big nose... this is what my momma and my poppa gave to me, and that's the deal.

I did as well as might be expected—seated as I was between Jesus Christ and Napoleon.

I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist.

I did a lot of sitcoms, and being funny isn't about being beautiful. Usually, beautiful people aren't the funny people.

I've told everyone that I grew old on 'Hee Haw,' but I could've grown old without it.

When I really have it together, I think I successfully pull off looking like the exact middle point between Macklemore and Ron Howard, only with a much bigger forehead than either of them.

I am built funny. Picture Mark Twain's head on Ichabod Crane's body. Now hold your mental picture to the light and crumple it.

My chin - I've got another one underneath the first one.

I finally have the body I want. It’s easy, actually, you just have to want a really shitty body.

I'm surprised I still have so much hair after all the things I've done with it.

My mother always told me growing up I had a punchable face. Little did I know she was predicting my television career.

I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life; my gynecologist examines me by telephone.