Tara Reid Quotes

I understand being less sexy than Osama bin Laden, but not less sexy than Carrot Top. That, I find offensive.

I'm an idol of cinema? Oh, wow.

For lack of a better term, they've labeled me a sex symbol. It's flattering and it should happen to every bald, overweight guy.

If he were any dumber, he'd be a tree.

If you go on the Internet and type in 'Lee Ryan one liners,' I think I'm on par with Gandhi.

Fame is sexy. And women are meant to find men who are funny sexy. But not me. Absolutely not me. Clearly I just missed the sexy bit.

What's the difference between Lindsay Lohan and Rick Perry? It only takes Lindsay four and a half hours to finish a sentence.

If Fred Astaire is the Cary Grant of dance, I'm the Marlon Brando.

There's enough people that do unfunny music. I'll leave the serious stuff to Paris Hilton and Kevin Federline.

I'm in a class by myself, along with people like Rod Stewart.

I could do without 'cool' publications calling me 'mom jazz.' But I laughed all the way to the bank, baby.

I can understand that the whole world is interested in my wife Madonna. That's even why I married her.

My success comes in making fun of whatever you're doing. That's my way.

Jerry Ford is so dumb he can't fart and chew gum at the same time.

The English can be a very critical, unforgiving people, but criticism can be good. And this is a country that loves comedy.

It's funny how you call me a celebrity. Oh man.

You can compare me with Greta Garbo. I have big feet, too.

Colombian humor is very black, very sarcastic.

I talked about becoming stupid, but I've always been stupid. Fortunately I've been just smart enough to realize that I'm stupid.

You know I used to be a heartthrob, and now I'm a coronary.

The key to humor is often self-loathing or sarcasm. In a sense, that's how self-loathing is made palatable.

I like the Kardashians, but I do keep them on the top of my prayer list.

I ain't no movie star, man. I'm a booty star.

I don't care what you say about me. Just be sure to spell my name wrong.

I saw an Emmy ad that AMC took out with all the 'Breaking Bad' nominees' photos, and there's my picture from the show. It's like World's Ugliest Man - I'm an automatic winner in that category.