Dave Attell Quotes

I was trying for years to woo people through humour, but it seems flash cars are much easier.

I think the eyes flirt most. There are so many ways to use them.

To win a woman, take her with you to see Dracula.

There are plenty of good-looking women out there. Go get them.

Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.

That's all it takes in life to win a woman over - a good gimmick.

The guys that drive Lamborghinis, Ferraris, Bentley GTs, it's because they want to flaunt the fancy car and get the girls and stuff.

Honey, if you've had your eye on a piece of talent and that chick down the road has been getting all the action, then you know what you gotta do... Try A Little Bit Harder.

Whoa," Brit breathed, handing my drink back to me. "That was..." "Really hot," Jacob finished. "I thought you two were going to rip off each other's clothes and start making babies right here on the dirty, beer covered floor. Like I was going to have to start charging admission for what was about to go down.

And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!

You…you got rid of that dress fast," I pointed out between heavy breaths. "I thought you liked it." "I do like it," he said. His breathing was as heavy as mine. "I love it." And then he took me to the bed.

I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.

Want me to flex my magic for you, baby?

Didn't your mother ever tell you," Rob asked, "that you're supposed to play hard to get?" I looked at his lips. I probably don't need to tell you that they're really nice lips, kind of full and strong-looking. "What," I wanted to know, "is that going to get me?

Kissing babies and hugging fat girls.

My girlfriend asked me if I only love her for her body. I said no, baby. Just parts of it.

As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be in the mood for it December 25th.

The most valuable of all human possessions, next to a superior and disdainful air, is the reputation of being well-to-do.

You flirt with everything." She could tell that her eyes were popping-- her eyeballs actually felt cold around the edges. "You flirt with old people and babies and everybody in between.

Come on, baby.” Paris combed his fingers through her hair. “Look past my terrible personality and hideous looks and throw me a bone. Teach me how to woo you properly.” She snorted. “I’d argue the hideous looks part.” “But not the terrible personality? Ouch. That hurts, baby.

Look, Rose. You don't have to keep up with the hard-to-get thing. You already got me.

I wanna roll it, roll it, roll it, roll it. Is all I wanna do, for you baby. Girl, it's something kind of sexy. Goin' on about you babe.

The prettiest dresses are worn to be taken off.

If the guy's a cutie, you've gotta tap that booty.

I'm not classically pretty; I've always been too heavy; I've had thyroid disease and it's very hard for me to lose weight - but I've always had men pursue me. I've always had that 'it' thing. God knows why. Maybe it's pheromones, I don't know.