Mitch Hedberg Quotes

Satire, whether it be satire or not, everything has to have boundaries.

This diamond has so many carats it's almost a turnip.

I've always been very upfront about the way I write, and I've always used the tools humorists use, such as exaggeration.

The reason I wrote 'You Suck' was that I so enjoyed spending time with Tommy and Jody.

I guess you can tease me about being a drama queen, because that did heighten the drama.

You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.

A caricature is putting the face of a joke on the body of a truth.

Satire works best when it hews close to the line between the outlandish and the possible - and as that line continues to grow thinner, the satirist's task becomes ever more difficult.

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.

When I say something untrue on the air, I mean for it to be transparently untrue. I assume people know when I'm just saying something for effect. Or to be funny.

I've met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

I try to refrain from the alarmist statement, really I do. It's bad for the liver and worries the dog, who has plenty enough to worry about as it is.

Charitably, you could say it was a little long. In fact, it was a lot long.

I saw an e-mail from one guy who's about 23 to one of peers. His parting sign-off was 'Don't let the bedbugs bite.' Now that's really poetic.

If you're satirizing something, you're hitting at something that's real and true, and putting it on its head, and we did that with 'Tropic Thunder.'

I exaggerate all our selves, our beings. I make fun of everything: of our life and what we are. But I don't tell jokes, really. I just exaggerate life, and it comes out funny.

I think satire is most effective when you love the thing you're satirizing rather than... have a vendetta against it.

Effective satire has to be almost identical to the subject that it is skewering.

In a satire, you need foolishness.

I have tremendous affection for New York and my life, but I'm a satirist at heart. And it's easy to satirize New York.

'Irony' is such an over-used word.

It's a challenge to do satire when the thing you're satirizing is almost beyond satire, but I think that's a challenge for everybody.

I made my money the old-fashioned way, I inherited it.

Only last week I murdered a rock, injured a stone and hospitalized a brick.

If Bill Gates is worth $30 billion then a good haircut must cost $31 billion