Chelsea Handler Quotes

Fathers are men who give daughters away to other men who aren't nearly good enough...so they can have grandchildren who are smarter than anybody's.

You don't get to pick your partners in families; you get assigned a seat at the table.

But the good news was that my elder sister refused to get married straight away and I couldn't get married until she did so I had the licence to go off and dream.

My parents separated when I was nine, but my father was always around, and he still follows me now. He is always sending me messages.

I always love the soapy conflicts between somebody's family of origin and their new family - 'Do I have Thanksgiving at my husband's parents' house, or at my parents' house?'

Quite a lot of people wanted me to write about my family, I suppose for fairly obvious reasons, and there was always something that would stop me, I thought they were asking me for the wrong motives.

I've never read one book about my father.

A bride is a bride the first time around. The white dress and the white veil are symbolic. So many people are breaking the rules that people don't know what the rules are.

I bet I would make a really good daughter-in-law.

My father, who is now in Heaven, was a supporter of La U, and I think the truth is that a lot of my family would like me to end up there. My dad was the pillar of the family, and sometimes people do things for their family as well.

It was clear that my father wanted us to work with him. I mean, it is a family company.

There is no pressure from my family to get married.

I couldn't see much point in tying myself down to a middle-aged woman with four children, even though the woman was my wife and the children were my own.

My father was in the kitchen putting a new washer in the kitchen faucet. He looked relieved to see Morelli standing in the hallway. He'd probably prefer I bring home someone useful, like a butcher or a car mechanic, but I guess cops are a step up from undertakers.

My mother would like me to start all interviews by stating that she and my father are perfectly normal. They are proud of me, and as perplexed as anyone by my novels.

Father-daughter relationship, is something that I think is so unique and it can't really be explained unless you have a daughter.

Didn't you ever have a father yourself? You don't want him for a reason. You want him because he's your father.' So I figured it's because I never had a father that I don't want one now. A person can't miss something she never had.

Someone once said that every man is trying to live up to his father's expectations or make up for their father's mistakes.

I'm a father of four girls and I know very much about the relationship between a father and his daughters.

Your folks are god, you love them and you want to make them happy but you still want to make up your own rules.

While the foods were being prepared, I watched as men dragged a foot-operated grinding wheel into an open space, and the groom devoted a tense hour to putting a razor's edge to a large, ornate dagger. The bride's father watched that effort with a critical eye. After satisfying himself that the weapon was suitably lethal, he gravely accepted it as a gift from the younger man. The groom has just sharpened the knife that the bride's father will use on him, if he ever mistreats the girl.

For many little girls, life with father is a dress rehearsal for love and marriage.

People say you don't need a father to be successful. I take offense to that. I had an argument with my mom about Father's Day and why it's not celebrated like Mother's Day.

When my brother, Todd [Fisher], was born my father was already with Elizabeth [Taylor]. I was 19 or 20 when I first spent a block of time with him.

I believe the person who was out conquering the world, who was out fighting in the world were our fathers, so to have them come... I adored my father more than anyone in the world, but my father had more advice on work policies and how to get a job and how to survive in the work environment than my mother because my mother never worked outside of the home. So I think the support of fathers is very important.