Steve Martin Quotes

No nation was ever drunk when wine was cheap.

One should always be drunk. That's all that matters...But with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk.

With wine, poetry, or virtue as you choose. But get drunk.

"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" "Ask a glass of water."

The sluices of the grog-shop are fed from the wine-glasses in the parlor, and there is a lineal descent from the gentleman who hiccoughs at his elegant dinner-table to the sot who makes a bed of the gutter.

I was so drunk the whole time that I took bottles for girls and girls for bottles.

I drink for the honorable purpose of getting bagged.

Wine maketh the band quivering, the eye watery, the night unquiet, lewd dreams, a stinking breath in the morning, and an utter forgetfulness of all things.

I was somewhat drunk with what I had done. And I am always one to prefer being sober.

Alcohol make you drunk, man. It don't make you meditate, it just make you drunk. Herb is more a consciousness.

The important thing is to be drunk.

Sometimes when you get hammered till the small hours you feel pretty good in the morning, but really it's just because you're still a bit drunk. That old hangover is just toying with you, working out when to bite.

I'm pretty drunk and bored with yelling at the stone walls that are your minds.

I thought, When a man is properly drunk it is as though he is an a room by himself--there is a physical, impenetrable separation between him and his fellows.

No, Lord Maccon was riproaring, tumble down, without a doubt, pickled beyond the gherkin.

I am drunk, seest thou? When I am not drunk I do not talk. You have never heard me talk much. But an intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend his time with fools.

I had been brought up and trained to have the utmost contempt for people who got drunk - and I would have liked to have the boozing scholars of the Universities wheeled into line and properly chastised for their squalid misuse of what I must ever regard as a gift of the gods.

It scares the living crap out of me how good wine is at ten dollars.

The wine urges me on, the bewitching wine, which sets even a wise man to singing and to laughing gently and rouses him up to dance and brings forth words which were better unspoken.

Like other parties of the kind, it was first silent, then talky, then argumentative, then disputatious, then unintelligible, then altogether, then inarticulate, and then drunk. When we had reached the last step of this glorious ladder, it was difficult to get down again without stumbling.

Maybe she was drunk - the woman never could drink. One little sniff of tequila and she was off into some blonde la-la land.

Let us have wine and woman, mirth and laughter, Sermons and soda water the day after. Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; The best of life is but intoxication: Glory, the grape, love, gold, in these are sunk The hopes of all men, and of every nation; Without their sap, how branchless were the trunk Of life's strange tree, so fruitful on occasion: But to return--Get very drunk; and when You wake with head-ache, you shall see what then.

A man will part with anything so long as he's drunk, and you're drunk with him.

That which hath made them drunk hath made me bold; What hath quenched them hath given me fire.

He knew that Hop-Frog was not fond of wine; for it excited the poor cripple almost to madness; and madness is no comfortable feeling.