Pat Paulsen Quotes

What the hell is a Republican? What the hell is a Democrat? I don't care. I've always urged people to make sure you vote for the right guy.

I'll tell you who he's going to be president of. You can tell Donald: the Queens County Bullies Association. You've got to cut it out now and stop with all this crazy rhetoric.

It looks like Rudy Giuliani is out of the race. Finally, a Republican with an exit strategy.

There is a big difference between a disappointing friend and a deadly enemy. Of course the Democrats are disappointing. That's what makes them Democrats. If they were any more frustrating they'd be your relatives. But in this country they are all that stands between you and darkest night. You know why their symbol is the letter 'D'? Because it's a grade that means good enough, but just barely. You know why the Republican symbol is 'R'? Because it's the noise a pirate makes when he robs you and feeds you to a shark.

If the answer is more politicians, you are asking the wrong question.

Voting for New Labour is like helping an old lady across the road while screaming 'Get a move on!' Even the Tories, who you could once rely on to be completely heartless are pretending to care.

If nominated, I shall run to Mexico. If elected, I shall fight extradition.

Hillary Clinton, like Bill [Clinton], you know, they're not the solution to the crisis.

I was actually abandoned by wolves and then raised by Republicans.

There's no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead.

Donald Trump tried to set up this debate where it was going to be globalists vs. nationalists, and the Republicans were going to be the nationalists. But, if anything, the Democrats looked more patriotic and more nationalist at the end of these two.

In a speech today, President Obama said that Michelle Obama is very strong and talented and she frequently tells him that he is wrong. As a result, Michelle Obama is now the Republican front-runner for 2016.

John Boehner chose a huge gavel. I think somebody's compensating for his small government.

Politics is like driving. To go backward put it in R. To go forward put it in D.

The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and we can fix that."

Newt Gingrich gave voice to something that was said throughout this campaign from Democrats and Republicans.

Clinton's pet Labrador, Buddy, is getting neutered. The dog will never have sex again. Overnight, they've turned Buddy from a Democrat into a Republican.

If you vote for Democrats, you might as well give Al Quaeda a death ray and a manual.

Comparing what the Democrats offer to what the Republicans offer is like comparing the money I have in my pocket to what Bill Gates has in his.

Mitt Romney said that he liked to fire people. Well, there's a pretty good message to send to Middle America. When Rick Perry heard that, he said, 'Well that's nothing. I like to execute people.'

Mitt Romney has asked Todd Akin to step down. That's too bad. Todd Akin was the guy to lead the Republican Party into the 16th century.

The entire island of Martha's Vineyard has gone Obama crazy. There's even a cocktail that they've named after Barack Obama. It's called the Obamarita. Not to be confused with a cocktail inspired by John McCain, the Cosmopoligrip. And then there was one a couple of years ago inspired by George W. Bush, the Mojidiot. Of course, there was the Bill Clinton Screwdriver.

I think God has blessed us. He has blessed the Republican Party with some very good candidates. The Democrats can't even find one.

I kid the Republicans, with love. I feel bad for them. They got nobody for next time. Who are they gonna run? Sarah Palin, reading off her hand. Did you see that? You saw this? She wrote "tax cuts" on her hand. A Republican so stupid she has to be reminded of the one thing - Tax cuts! This is like if you saw the coyote's paw and it said "Road Runner".

As far as being a Republican is concerned, I come from a place, New York City, which is virtually, I mean, it is almost exclusively Democrat. And I have really started to see some of the negatives - as an example, and I have a lot of liking for this man, but the last number of months of his brother's administration were a catastrophe. And unfortunately, those few months gave us President Obama. And you can't be happy about that.