Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

Let me get one thing straight; I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice; no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.

It's not really cool any more to have sex all the time. It's cooler to be strong and independent.

It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up.

If our sex life were determined by our first youthful experiments, most of the world would be doomed to celibacy. In no area of human experience are human beings more convinced that something better can be had only if they persevere.

My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.

She was my mother. I couldn't threaten to slap, stab, beat or even name call her. I tried to think of something to scare her into never mentioning the predicament with the Dreamsnatcher again. I'll become a swinger," I said. her eyes bugged. Uptight rearing made her uncomfortable with alternate lifestyles. "That's right. threesomes, foursomes, and more. bones knows about a thousand chicks who'd love to hop into bed with us. It'll be kinky, we'll get out freak on.-

Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.

Vaginal penetration only doesn't work for most of us. And we're not all meant to be monogamous either, especially since women are capable of having far more sex than men. Try to get that fact across in America!

Much more than our other needs and endeavors, it is sexuality that puts us on an even footing with our kind: the more we practice it, the more we become like everyone else: it is in the performance of a reputedly bestial function that we prove our status as citizens: nothing is more public than the sexual act.

Do ya remember the first time you had sex? I do, and boy, was I scared! I was alone!

There is no such thing as a sphere for sex. Every man has a different sphere, in which he may or may not shine, and it is the same with every woman, and the same woman may have a different sphere at different times.

I grew up in the Fifties and early Sixties, which were still quite conservative, and I wasn't given any information about sex or anything like that... I went out with girls at school because one had to. I didn't experiment with sex for quite a long time.

Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.

Someday every woman will have orgasms- like every family has color TV- and we can all get on with the business of life.

I masturbate! I do it like I think if I keep doing it, I'm gonna win something.

No sex is better than bad sex.

I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.

Someone told me you start liking sex when you hit 30--but we'll see.

God knows if you could start a new sex act that's more important than making a good movie.

I'm devoted to promiscuity, and always have been. I believe the more you do, the better it is for you. I'm a great health nut, and sex is, I think, absolutely marvelous for the whole system; tones you up.

There were a WHOLE LOTTA us not having sex at Harvard . . . but none of us thought that that was special enough to start a club about it, for pete’s sake.

The first time I had sex, I didn't know what I was doing. It was a relief when the whole thing was over after just 45 minutes.

If you read my short stories, there's a lot of sex in those in all different ways. To me, it's a really good, useful thing to get to have in a story. And in a movie, it's amazing, because you actually get to show things.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.