Chris Eigeman Quotes

I have an agent now.

I did commercials since I was 16, and that's kind of acting, depending on what you're selling.

Latinos, Asians, African-Americans, women - we're all trying to find our place in this world of cinema and television and theater. And the great thing with comedy is that most of the time, you could be orange. It doesn't matter, as long you're funny.

I would like to do commercials, or even work for WWE if they called me. I wouldn't want to go back on the air or manage again, but I would like to be a spokesperson and do stuff like that.

I find what I do for a living really funny. I mean, acting is kind of a hilarious thing for a grown man to call a job.

I've done a dozen or two dozen infomercials.

John Cleese once told me he'd do anything for money. So I offered him a pound to shut up, and he took it.

I came to Hollywood originally writing comedy and writing satire.

I would really like to do a really cool one-hour show, maybe on, like, HBO or something like that; or something that I've spent a couple of years developing so it would be exactly the character and exactly in with a huge push behind it; or I would maybe want to do a sitcom; something light and funny.

I started with commercials - for shampoo, pancakes, insurance, Volvo. I did a Lux soap commercial with Sarah Jessica Parker. And I got a role in an indie film called 'Satellite' that did well in festivals.

Same thing, like my commercials are often times really funny because I tend to find 30 seconds is a really good amount of time to tell a joke.

We love doing commercial and TV show work.

We still have that same burn, to get that same kind of laughs. So whether the studio wants us to or not, we're going to do it. The money is just a byproduct of coming out with good stuff. Our whole thing is building that rapport with the audience.

Anything I have blown a lot of money on? Well, I have three daughters and a wife - that's four women, and I'm working on a sitcom, so you could say that I am just trying to stay alive!

When you're a TV star, you pretty much set the tone, and on 'Police Woman,' we goofed around all the time.

I work with some of the funniest writers in the country.

Peyton Manning is funny, hence the 'Saturday Night Live'; you see him in his commercials. He's funny.

Man, I had a good time working on 'Grown Ups 2.' First of all, when I read the script, it is hands-down the funniest script I've ever read. It's laugh-out-loud funny.

Axone', of course, was on racism, but it was also a kind of representation that hadn't happened ever before of the Northeast and the people from there. It was a nicely-written script; it was funny.

The reality about shooting films is that you can shoot many jokes and decide later which one works. So it's not worth fighting about jokes.

Chico: "Here's the book, it's a dollar" Groucho: "Here's a ten, and shoot the change." Chico: "I don't have change I'd have to give you nine more books.

Hollywood called me, asking me, "How much to do a movie with Farrah Fawcett?" "$50,000" They called back, "How about $20,000?" I said, "I'll pay it!"

I started finding humor in everything. I used to watch a lot of TV, and I finally figured I didn't need to watch TV to find funny stuff. I just watch the commercials. I mean, the commercials just blew my mind.

So many people, my friends and family, were all saying, "You're so funny. Why don't you become a comedian or an actor?" But it wasn't a reality at the time, it wasn't a road that Latin people were accepted in.

I went to school for marketing and advertising, so I have a special interest in good and funny commercials and why they work and why they're funny - which is one of the reasons I, like many people, like watching the Super Bowl, besides the game.