Nick Harkaway Quotes

I'm physically completely mal-coordinated. My best friend used to make me run for the bus just to give herself a quick, cheap laugh because I definitely don't have that sophisticated cool thing down.

I always like stories where the egg ends up on my face.

At school I was very shy and coincidentally inherited the title 'little miss worry guts,' and that was just among the staff. I learned early on that I could make people laugh, and as my small neat body betrayed me by growing to dizzying heights, I used it as a tool that translated into complete slap-stick comedy.

I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over.

And I laugh at myself when I screw things up, which happens all the time.

I'm grateful for every stupid mistake and dumb joke I tried to make.

As an athlete, you'd better laugh at yourself when you slip in the mud.

I'm kind of a nerd. A square. And I'm terrible at telling jokes. I always forget the punch line.

People who know me know that I am very clumsy, always fumbling, and I talk rubbish most of the times.

It's hard for me to take myself too seriously when I'm constantly experiencing firsthand what an incredible gimp I can be.

I have no more pleasure in hearing a man attempting wit and failing, than in seeing a man trying to leap over a ditch and tumbling into it

No, I don't, like, play an instrument or anything.I'm just...well, you saw me at the beginning there. I was the guy that fell down and died.

I was fairly rubbish as a player.

My friends make me laugh: funny Instagram videos, but mostly people falling over. It's so bad, but it never gets old. I just love how people cover up their falls. The whole experience of 'Oh, I just fell, and I'm going to run out of the fall and pretend I did this on purpose.' I just like to see how people cover up their mishaps.

There's no denying it: I was a crappy baby who failed his way into this world, and I've been making the best of it ever since.

I think what's hysterically funny is a guy who sets himself up as the most confident, everything's-perfect, know-it-all, things-are-swell human being and then gets wiped out every time.

I tried Zumba, but I laughed the entire time! I was so bad, it's embarrassing.

only to people!' shouted Rincewind. He drew his sword and, with a smooth overarm throw, completely failed to hit the troll.

Comedy makes you humble. Because there are so many opportunities to miss, and strike out.

Not only was I not the best catcher in the Major Leagues, I wasn't even the best catcher on my street!

I feel it's important to point out that I've earned my humility by being a jackass - like, I trip and fall on my face and say, "Oh, right. Don't think you're a big shot, because you've got a bloody nose now." So it's hard to say.

I feel like I'm wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.

You can be stupid once, but idiotic to do it again. I'll settle for being stupid.

Would you believe that I once entered a beauty contest? I must have been out of my mind. I not only came in last, I got 361 get-well cards.

Now I know what it is like to feel like a total idiot.